QUESTIONS: am 16-year:
old oe I-think ‘of myself as
of. erage. Nothing is

guess. Pm a little
: E-know- it’s an old-
fashioned . word but temp-
tations are really bothering
1¢: Ehave a lot of them but
most of them are about sex
and: drugs and cheating in
_ some--way or another. And
re's sgnother too.
tempte ‘a-Jot to-do things
that seem-OK to me but-are
not OK with my parents.
These are just iitde things
e- - gut on my

chores.and staying out later

n m supposed to. When
Im
“tha

even! think. is wrong for
me, pa

still I want to do it,

rm:

what can I do? I don't want
to be a nerd and not get into
anything that the other kids

are doing, but some of those |

things are real temptations
for me. What do I do about
that? ,

STEWART: Suppose I
answer you as though you've
got some brains and really
want to bé-quite a person.
Are you game? In other
words, this will not be some
cute bits of advice. Ready? I
think it’s a tremendous idea
to think about who you are
and who you want to be. I
mean, think about some of
the “end-reésults” you want in
your person. I'm not talking
about whattyou want to have
or what kind of job you are

“snited for,” but what you
want to become. What sort
of person ‘do. ryou want to be.
Got the. idea?

Now, next: step. Con-
sciously choose ‘experiences
for yourself that will really
contribute fo the things you
want most in your life. If, in
the course of exploring that
second step, you are.
“tempted” to be the sort of
person who will take away
from the kind of person you
want to be, then walk away
from it. Don’t put up with
anything that will poison the

person you are wanting to ©

become. An example? OK.
let’s fake an extreme one. If
you are “tempted” to shoot
some heroin, ask yourself, if

STEWART: When you say,

.. “I am quite insecure about

criticizing | everyone ~ and
everything. T-always feel I
am ight and everyone else
elther has mo class, is

lorant or has no taste. |
realize I do this, but, try as I
might, it ‘happens all the
‘time. The strange thing is I
am quite insecure about
myself and my life, yet I still

d-myself judging others
j. 1am a very lonely
Feet and ‘I guess I have

w. people that I like..What
in the world can I do to
appfeciate others for what
theyare and not find fault
with everything?

~~

ESTION:.

QUI ‘My’ friends
keep- telling. me. that when I
smoke’ -dope ‘I “behave

erratically. ‘They say, for
example, ‘that I do not drive
well; and I tend to drive
faster than I do otherwise. I
can't: belleve them, even
though one of them has
refused to drive with me. |

eos

” myself and my life” you are
- giving us a clue as to what is

going on. Some people in
such a position become shy
and withdrawn to protect
themselves from others. A
different sort of person
reacts to his insecurity by
being loud and aggressive.
You have chosen to handle
your low self esteem by
trying (for your own sake) to
put others dowen. The
theory (which you tell us is
not working happily for you)
is that by putting others
down, you automatically put
yourself up. It is a blessing
that you have come to see
that there just has to be a

_ better way. Perhaps you will

think they are ganging up
and trying to kid me into not
driving. I think they are
trying to con me and then
will give me the big laugh if I
get afraid to drive. Have you
-ever heard of such erratic
behaviour as a result of pot?
STEWART: I'm no
authority. They may be

be wise enough to explore it.
T hope you will. You may
need to get some counselling
heip, but whether you do or
not, find a way to work on
yourself instead of working
over the other fellow. The
answer is in you. A person
who really sees that he needs
to learn how to find his own
strength and beauty and

rightful place in the world, is __ p

well on the way. You need

only to become yourself.

more fully and get rid of all
these
make you feel down on
yourself. You are okay. It's
this imposter in you that you
are entertaining that is

mucking things up for you. —

Let’s kick. him out’and give
you some space to grow in!

Dope and driving dangerous mix

kidding. But if you end up in
the ditch or end up killing
somebody, both you and
they will have time to stop
kidding and get real serious.
Why not~ do yourself a
favour? Do’ yourself TWO
favours. -First —— believe
them. Second — don't drive
while you're dopey.

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“possibilities

habit-thoughts that — .

doing that will add to the
of your
becoming the sort of person
you long to with all your
heart and soul. Or suppose
you are tempted to “cheat”
at school or at the drugstore.
By doing that. will you be

ask hayden stewart

doing yourself a favor in - favor of giving attention and

view of the kind of person

you want to be and are now ~”y

becoming?

So, what it boils down to is
getting
always doing yourself the

Freelance Counsellor Hayden Stewart may be reached at 261-6242
for appointments. for individual, family or group counselling, “His
office in the International Plaza Hotel (Open Tuesdays only) is for the
convenience of Narth Shore residents

into the habit of

fespect-to being the person’
‘you want to. be. Make sure

you choose’ in ways that

' contribute to the end-results
you: “want. By the way, being
“in charge” of your temp-

tations gets to be fun.

Just an interested snoop

QUESTION:

Do you think Fm a snoop?
My parents do, but I think
Fm just interested and
curious. Pll tell you how it
came up. Our next door
neighbours are doing some
work on their patio and rock
garden. That really interests
me. So, I-take a peak every
little while to see how the

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blend
‘ sultings |

job is coming along around
the edge of the curtain, my
parents claim [I'm a snoop. |
claim I am just curious and
interested. What's the
. verdict? Do you agree with
me or my parents?
STEWART:
Yes, I would say that you
are an interested, curious,
snoop!

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Its the curtain bit that
brands you snoopy. Why not
go outside and over to the
fence and say to them, “Hey,
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are doing. Do you mind if I
have a look?" Voila! Sud-
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neighbourly guy. who has
recently become an_ex-
snooper.

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