Taik interrupts TV sports DEAR MISS MANNERS — Picture this. The radio or TV “speaks”? in the background; daughter engages dad in conversatiou. in the middle of a meaningful sentence, dad raises his finger in the air, signaling her to stop in- stantly while he listens to sports scores. Daughter is told to hold the thought until after the report. Daughter, who is 11, challenges this behavior, claiming it is a de- meaning interruption and poor manners. Dad says she’s oversen- sitive and unreasonable, because her thought can be expressed any time and the scores can be heard only once a day. loam certain that the finger method of stopping conversation is rade, but I worder if even the sweetest, most tumble ‘‘Excuse me — could you hold that thought for just a minute?’ is also demeaning. Is stopping a person in mid- Sentence for anything but emergencies rude? My husband says you’d answer differently if it were war news rather than sports scores. i think we should learn together the self-discipline of truly listening to one thing or person at a time, and stop dividing our attention. GENTLE READER — Miss Manners is with you on the issue of divided attention, and she trusts that you have not allowed this daughter to do homework while listening to music, and have never, never, never permitted any canned entertainment during din- ner, But your husband may be sur- prised to hear that she has a point to make in his favor as well. And it’s not just because she considers war news (which often qualifi es for emergency status) more im- portant than sports scores. If the scores are given only once a day, both father and daughter should be aware when that is. It is no time to begin a conversation. If your daughter opened wiih ‘‘Is Judith Martin MISS MANNERS this a good time to talk to you?” she would be right to expect his full attention if he said ‘Yes. That means the television should be turned off. DEAR MiSS MANNERS — When my husband and I entertain guests from out of town, we try to think of activities that the guests might enjoy, and to make Preparations for meals according to their dietary needs. We often end up in a polite tug of war in which no one is willing to decide what we're going to do or what we're going to eat. The phrases ‘Anything is fine’ and ‘I don’t care’’ become well- worn, and in the meantime, nothing happens. Perhaps we are all hopelessly indecisive, but it is because we were all raised to be as unob- trusive as possible with the host or hostess. When I am the hostess, ¥ usually end up making the deci- sion, but I often feel uncomfort- able in doing so. GENTLE READER — What you describe is not so much a tug T he (reat Whistler (jetavay! May & June Special: From only $ 5 () per night* *double cccupancy, tax not included. Based on availability. Escape to a world of glorious scenery, crystalline skies and adventure unlimited. Come on up to Whistler, B.C. and we'll show youa really good time. It’s all right on the doorstep when you stay at the Whistler Timberline Lodge. Fabulous golf and trout fishing. Skiing on Blackcomb’s famous slopes. It's all waiting for you! The Timberline Lodge is Whistler's most welcoming doorway. Rustic elegance right in the heart of Whistler Village. Wonderful rooms and full service. Live entertainment at Buffalo Bill's every Thursday, Friday and Saturday night. Memorable dining ac Myrtle’s. Get away to the Whistler Timberline Lodge. Call Vancouver direct: 877-0336. AWHUISTLER TIMBERLINE we “Whistler's most welcoming doorway.” of war as a ritual, and you seem to have gotten stuck after correct- ly performing the opening step. The polite answer to ‘‘What would you like to do (or eat)?”? is, indeed, ‘Anything is fine.’’ (Miss Manners does not care for the modernism ‘‘I don’t care.*’) But then the next question should be ‘Would you like to go to see the Monet exihibit or go bowling?’ or ‘‘Would you prefer chicken or sweetbreads?’’ These require a specific answer, If none is offered, you must prompt your guests by saying, “Either one is just as easy and en- joyable for us — please do us a favor and make the choice.”’ DEAR MISS MANNERS — At a party we had, with several round tables and chairs fer our guests, one gentleman was in a family-antique Windsor chair, feaning back on two of its iegs. He is quite large. I was across the room and would have had to manouevre to speak to him quietly or get his at- tention. I decided to let it go, but ended up with a damaged chair. It dida’t break, but the spindles are now quite weak. I have had this happen before, when someone jeaned back and rocked on a chair. I am saddened about my chair, but I didn’t want to embarrass my guest. Should one politely ask a guest not to lean back on a chair? If my childrer: do it, I always ask them not to. GENTLE READER -— One difference between children and guests is that the lateer may not be instructed in proper behavior. However, a gracious host always worries about the welfare of her guests. You need only say, “Oh, dear, I’m afraid you might get hurt in that chair — let me get you another one you'll be more comfortable in,’’ as an excuse for substituting a nondescript but in- destructible chair for your valuable but fragile one. AN EVENING WITH RENOWNED CLAIRVOYANT DAVID YOUNG Tuesday, May 21, 1991 8:00 P.M. (doors open a: 7? pm) Ballroom Lonsdale Quay Hotel 123 Carrié Cates Court North Vancouver Ticket Information 931-5860 Advance Tickeis $10 Availabie:Sat., May 18 te Tues., May2l 10:30 a.m. to 6:30 (and it available at the door) at Lonsdale Quay Hotel or phone 931-5860 Time: THIS WEEK ONLY! * Can You Believe This 4 Beautiful pea & Gazebo} 4 Package is if £939 9509} 100% FINANGNG AVARAILC WITH ROW MONTHLT PAYMENTS (OAC) This Unbelievable Price Includes: w : Complete Portable Spa a 7) < © NOV of 220V Equipment “© 50 Sq. Fr, Fitzation System oO: © 4 Therapy Jets + ! Cel Swirl Jet Bag ® Skimmer & Drain , © Full Foam Insulasen m:,° Underwarer Light * : Stool * Bar & 3 Bar Stools OVER 200,000 SATISFIED , 39° Entry Steps CAL SPAS CUSTOMERS $= «1 Pedwood Planters 988-4006 Store Hours Monday-Thursday Friday Saturday Sunday 1480 MARINE DR., NORTH VANCOUVER | 9:30-7:00 | 9:30-9:00 10:00-6:00 Noon-5:00 “* THE WORLD'S LARGEST SPA‘MANUFACTURER TENNIS PUBLIC INDOOR TENNIS COURTS FACILITY of the North Shore (STANS) has, for some time, pursued The Seniors Tennis oe a couver the possibility of i plan: for’ recreat jects undeg. consid PUBLIC: INDOOR TENNIS FACILITY rth Shore. Public informational full support of th range tennis players on the North Shore. FOR THE LOVE OF TENNIS PLEASE PARTICIPATE