| WITNESSED a drive-by
. Shooting at Third and
"Chesterfield the other day.

By John Moore
Contributing Writer

A car full of tecnage boys pas- a

sing through the intersection
-opened fire on'a group of pedes-
trians waiting at the curb.
--. Noone called 911. No one was
‘killed or wounded. There were no
headlines i in the North Shore

- News.:.” Ms

eThe boys were arined only with
powerful “‘Super-Soaker’’’squitt..
guns.: Hooting and giggling, they
accelerated off down Third Street
just like Teal bandits making a
“getaway. ;

‘Startled and only’ little damp, ~
the'victims brushed themselves off. ‘

in the crosswalk, ‘obviously torn:
bétween'mild amusement and;
equally. ‘mild irritation...“ ;
“After'all, it was a hot ‘day;a
squirt gun kind of day. -
4 Watching from across the’ street,’
the boy in’me snickered at this.’ -
erfectly executed, relatively
harmless prank.-" = 8 072.
“But as:I strolled down toward
he Quay, 1 found myself.
wondering, ‘how long before they
start ‘Squirting not.water, but am-
“monia, or paint, or. worse? ;
And how long before they go
cruising, ‘not with Super-Soakers,
7 but with sawed-off shotguns, .
pistols, maybe an Uzi? - :

“Geez, Mom, it’s only water,” ao

eT muttered, trying to cheer myself
up. ‘Nothing i is more funthana .
“water fight.on’a hot summer .
afternoon; right? 0"
o. When my nephews were tod :
dlers, a cheeky squirt from one of
them.provoked me to issue an.
ultimatum as foolish as any gov- ,

: ernment? 3: “Unele Jack never

LETTERS TO the editor must be legible (preferably typewritten) and

" loses a, water fight.’

‘The ensuing wet war has

. escalated, as wars will. They
*. wheedled Super-Soakers from

their parents.,

Witha bigger disposable
defence budget, I arrived at one
family barbecue wearing a
veritable arsenal of watery
weaponry that put The Terminator
to shame.

The wet war has also spread, as
wars will.

Other kids on their block,
hearing a water fight in progress,
are drawn in like allies i in an
entente. ;

Many atime, I’ve made my last
stand like Custer, on a rise in the
back lawn, surrounded by a

_ wheeling whooping circle of six-
to 10-year-olds until, out of water

at last, I collapse flat on my back,
soaked to the skin. .

You see, Uncle Jack never wins
a water fight.

- ‘It promotes solidarity among
the kids, '! tell myself.

True, they forget their’ ‘neigh-
borhood quarrels and unite like
the Allies against the Adult Axis.

It also reassures them to see

- adults acting like kids, rather than

patronizing them, so they don’t
get the idea that growing up
means being taken over and
turned into zombie-slaves by
-valiens. <i>...

”, But what am F-really teaching

» them, I wonder. The advantages

of stealth and surprise? Of superi-

or firepower? Of aggression in the
: face of overwhelming numbers?

“« Serious life skills, you could

’ say.

Why am I standing here ona
« perfect day for a water fight,

- thinking about the San Diego
. McDonald’s massacre, about Marc

‘Lepine, about the carloads of
teenage gang-bangers cruising the
streeis of most major American

ne ~ cities?

_ What niakes me angriest is that
“Ylive in a culture of escalating
random violence in which the sim-
ple joyous act of squirting water
_ at each other on a hot summer
day kas become so loaded with
socio-political meaning.

It’s too late to melt my plastic
‘aqueous arsenal down and beat it
into tiddlywinks and i’m not go-

‘ ing to deprive them of the fun

-they get out of baiting me, calling
me ‘Uncle Weenie’’ when I hide
in the house.

1f I’m lucky, I’ve got another

’ year or two before they

automatically lapse into
monosyllabic sullenness in the
presence of any adult...

The wet war will wind down. As
it does, I’m going to make sure
they help t me water the garden.

include your name, full address and telephone number.

Dear Editor: -

As of Sept. 16, it is no longer
racist to discuss our immigration
policy. That-is, if you happen to
be Michael. Valpy, and you just
happen to air your views in one of
Canada’s premier publications like
the Toronto Globe and Mail.

'To be‘ on the safe side, of

course, it doesn’t hurt to get your
point across by quoting someone
else, in this case a fellow journal-
ist by the name of Daniel Stoff-
man,

Apparently, Stoffman recently
remarked, ‘‘Given the degree of

Were ahead in
da Polls baby

immigration Canada, it is sur.

. prising that’immigration policy is:

not more, Often a subject of public
debate.

“Many Canadians hotly debate.
.the matter in the privacy of their

own living zooms, but. public
discussion of the subject is muted

.— likely because most immigrants

are non-white.
“Advocates of a return to a

lower, more selective immigration .
policy fear accusations . of tac .

ism.”’

No doubt Doug Collins will be.

relieved to learn. that Valpy. has

‘had an apparent change of heart.

Public-be-damned attitude

Dear Editor:

Congratulations
White and his Reform party
supporters. On Sept. 23, White
and his zealous little gnomes
were the only election partici-
pants to display ugly election
signs on Grand Boulevard.

Not content with littering
this: city’ property, they have
actually stuck the metal prongs
of the signs right: into each
flower bed on the boulevard
(they are thorough; they
haven’t missed one).

to Ted.

blatant, cavalier, public-be-
damned attitude from any
other politician.

Not so long ago, all signs
were banned on puolic property
in the City of North Van-
couver, making us a welcome
oasis during election periods.

I would welcome a restora--
tion and enforcement of such a
bylaw.

As for White, he has in-..
dicated where he stands on. en-
vironmental issues as far as |
am concerned.

Recognition in order for efforts.

‘Over the Past few decades, Col.’
lins and one or two other for-
ward-looking citizens’ have com-_
mented.on our rapidly changing .

- ethno-cultural climate.

For their pains they have been
regularly. pilloried by human rights ™
boards, establishment media, and.
yes, even .by highly’ esteemed col-
umnists such as Valpy.

Will Doug Collins now receive -
positive recognition’ for his pro-
phetic efforts? ,

Don’t hold your breath,

Mildred H, Nelson .
High River, Alberta

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