uth to tell

YEARS AGO, someone told me, ‘‘Never say what you
truly mean, it’ll bite you in the end,’’ The end being, cf
course, your bum, backside, buttock, posterior, rear,
rump, bottom, ail of those pretty words when you really

meéan ass.

Did | foilow his advice? For a
long time, 1 believed that everyone
should say what one means, and
_Mean what one says. In a word,
no. .

‘But Pve cften wondered, why
‘would anyone do otherwise? If f
don’t like someone, why shouldn’t
I just come out and tell that per-
son? And if I did -like someone,
“why shouldn't: | be straightfor-
- ward?

__ If 1 don’t want to wear certain

ciothing, or say certain things, or
: de. things | really con't want to
do, why do 1?

“There was a time when I did
. what I wanted to do. I was blunt.

. Fo: the point: -No holds barred.

The result: I said a lot of things
“and a lot of people took offence.
~ --Teven lost a few friends.

The truth then, I’ve concluded,
is that people want you to lie to
them. They want to hear that
“.. .they’re great, so we say things

.. like: -.‘‘Gee, I. like you, you’re
neat,”?. when. we really mean:

8 Man, are .you ever. insecure!’
-. They’ want to be accepted, so we
= tell chem: “Tike you just the way

you. ‘are,”’. when we really mean:
. wish. you wouldn’t pick your
“| nose Jin front of me,’ it’s. really
: disgusting.” :
i Socwe. lie, lie, lie, we even lie
that we lie. Why?
Because. al! the world’s a stage
~. and we each must play a part.
emake my. entrance, say my ines,
contribute to the pict alittle, and
make: my exit. Isn’t that life? a
tring: of. scesies in the acts on a
stage?. The .curtain’ falls, we make
ur. final bow, and. people talk

ae LAST WEEK we asked your

‘opinion of the News?’

- publishing of « photo showing

-y) > @.-dead. body. Thanks to the

{.'.callers who. tock the time .te
‘|. express their views.

I think. it was in very; very bad
taste. I babysit children. and 1
have a little sister of my owa
‘and I woulda’t want any of
“them to te see it, and my
“mother and father burned it
immediately. But i7 they had
described it — ‘the way he
looked ar anything — we might
have been able to claim the
_ person. You don’t know who it

is oz why he was there. Maybe -

he was murdered, maybe noi.
We'll never know untess some-
body comes and claims who he
is, and how are we gonua claim
him unless we find out how or
who he is.

No, I don't think it was a good
idea, the picture. They should
have banned it. Desth is a fact
of life, but we shouldn't be
able to see it. 1 think he was
murdered, but it shouldn't be
up to me te decide that.

I think the public has a right to
know.

{ think it might be a good
decision depending on what

By Rod Solar
Contributing Writer

about us when we’ve gone.

Don’t obituaries sometimes
sound like movie reviews? “He
lived a decent life, some of his ac-
tions lacked motivation,.some of
his lines sounded out of place, but
overall, a mediocre performance;
two-thumbs up.” Everyone’s a
critic at funerals: ‘‘I told him,
again and again, those cigarettes
will get to you!”

’ Heaven is a Hall of Fame, an
Oscar, a Tony, and Hell is doing

beer commercials.

So what's it all for? Aprlause?
Fame? Sure it is. If we act the
right way and remember all our
lines, every word, at the right
time; the critics rave: Sensational!
Extraordinary! Awesome! Not to
be missed! Even though we're the
same as everybody clse.

But if we don’t?

What if we're different and say
“screw the script?’? We make up
our own [nes and act the way we
want? The actors go nuts, the set

. catches fire, the show’s a flop.

Can. you imagine if everyone

told the truth? What: if. people

could hear our thoughts like they
can hear our voices? Ooh, scary
thought!

‘Un TruthWorld, your best friend
would ask you what you thought
of her new outfit. ‘‘That’s nice,”
you'd say, ‘when she really would
hear: ““Oh my. God, do they still
make things in that putrid color?”

Whoa, lucky us, to have such
long, long noses.

you think (tke viewers might
like fo see. [It’s up to you to

‘print what you think the
‘viewers want te see in your

paper. And you are giving it to
other people’s houses. You
have to think what the readers
want to see. Jeremy. Age 10.

E think it's a good thing
because people goita see this.

No, because if you want to see
that you should ask or some-
thing because it really grossed
me out because J had to deliver
it that day aad it was sick.
Michael.

ft was OK to print it.

I don’t think you should Rave
printed it. If was gross.

This week’s question:

What was the best Christmas
present you ever received? What
made it so special? Zap will
choose the most interesting an-
swers and publish them next week.
Have a happy, zappy Christmas!

oS PRiNGIPaL SLEDGE

SAID Sues GEFiN®
TIRED OF REMINDING

weMY HEAD'S
POGNDING, My
STOMACHS
IN KNOTS «.

Ir DONT ow wHarrs,
WRONG WTR Me...

OHL, WHEL,

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