: newspaper?

page 4 - February 4, 1976 - North Shore News -

QUESTION: This is a tough .
time fer people who are not
loaded with money and who >
have kids whe want a lot of
things like ‘everybody kas’’.
Our three kids have never -
Started skiing and now all
three of them just have to
start right away. You can’t -
tell them that car insurance
has gone up and we can’t
afford skiing — they would

not be able to understand it -

atall. 7
You can’t say ‘‘next year’’.
when they are as enthusiastic

QUESTION: You portray the
wispy illusion of an intellec-
tual, even “shzewd bard, able
to conjure a response to any
question or statement forth-.
coming from the populace.
So why is it you don’t even
know the name of your

BY

QUESTION: lam ‘at an utter:
loss in trying to figure out
how [ can kelp my alcoholic
uncle. He is really more than
‘an uncle to me and we have
been very dear to each other.

I would dearly love to help -
him, but how? I have already
learned that nagging doesn’t
work and. neither does
‘‘preaching’’. [ve tried to
get him to’ A:A. but he'll
have none of that. I sure

QUESTION: I have had ‘an
awkward time of it .whenever:
my mother visits me here | in
North Van.

This time I have made up
my mind to do better in

as our kids are. How do we
handle it?

STEWART:
reason they can’t understand
. that you can’t afford some-

thing is because you have not °

taught them to understand
what it means to be unable to
afford something. - :

“Next ‘year”’
‘answer for kids who have it
in their heads that ali they

‘need is. enthusiasm to talk
their parents into something.

They -need to learn that

STEWART: The author of.
the above letter enclosed two

clippings from
‘News; one, headed ‘‘North
Shore Who?’’, told of the.

change of name for this

second largest weekly in
B.C. to The North Shore

’ News. The other was. the

statement that" heads this

on’t coddle drunken une!

‘don’t want to give up on him

but. meanwhile, Pm in 2.

heart-break space.
more can I do?.

STEWART: It is not very
cheering for -you, but it
seéms that the best thing. you
can do is let him know you
love him and support him
and that you know how he is
suffering, then. pray that
hell . get - worse quickly
enough to jolt him. into doing

What

something for himself.

Dear Mom: here are the rules -

et will accept only what is

my share of the responsibil- |
ity for ensuring that you have
a pleasant visit. I will try to
be sensitive to your feelings
‘and hope that you will show

relating to her and at the_ the same sensitivity towards

same time be true to myself.
So [I’ve worked out. the
following guide for myself for
her on her next visit. Would
you care to comment? ——.

To my mother:

© Irealize that your presence.

will be somewhat disturbing,
but I choose not to allow you |

to consume all my’ time and ©

_ energy while you are here. ©

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Perhaps the _

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. STEWA

blackmail ain’t very pretty. a
If you can’t. afford ‘some- —

thing, or even if you think it

unwise to make a certain:

purchase, do the kids the
favour of letting them know

.. what that.-means by: saying, .
“Sorry kids — no go". Give .

them a break — don’t teach
them to sponge so early in
life.

But stick to your guns. If.
you say “‘No’’, be sure you
are not: teaching them that
what you mean is, “‘Well,

_maybe — if you whine

enough’’.

ve)

‘column and which invites
questioners to address their -

queries to me c/o the North
‘Shore Shopper!

. One pet rock for this alert
reader. We goofed! I hope
the publisher gives -him a

very large pet rock, because”

a large one is a little boulder.

It may seent all backwards
to you, but short of some Sort.

of. miracle. (like a religious ~
conversion) your uncle will

have to get worse before: he
gets better. Love him,
support him, don’t weigh
him down with a critical
superior attitude, and do
nothing to make it easier for
him. Just hope he will sicken.
of losing out and will reach

‘for help.

My 0 comments?
Well first. of all, thank you for -.
shating- your thinking. with —

us. Your self-selected’ guide- :

lines . appeal’ ‘to ‘me -“as”
evidence of your desire’ to”

‘relate to your “mother: in. a-
“more mature manner’ ‘than |
‘*-has been the case in the past.

° 1 will try to let you love and |

of, ‘when she. arrives, you : .

follow through with them,. I.

believe you will be encour-..-
aged to Bo even further. Dae

a

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Stewart does private counselling
as woll as a great deal of group
work. He can be contacted at
261-6242 for information and
appointments. Letters are

- always welcome. Mail them to

HAYDEN STEWART, c/o the
Nerth ‘Shore News, #202-1139

-Lonsdate, North Van.

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