wo

WHEN HIS wife said, ‘‘Do
you know what day it is to-
‘day?’ the Amiable Idiot
had a feeling it wasn’t going
to be a pood one, but he
didn’t know why.

“Tuesday?” he said, after some
i hesitation.
“'Lmean a special kind of day.”
He was sure it wasn't Christmas
or Easter and he felt fairly confi-
dent he would have known if it
was election day or some other
national celebration.
“it’s your birthday?"
7 “No. Jt is not my birthday and
“it isn’t yours cither. It is our anni-
' versary, Now, tell me how many
; years we have been married.”
The Amiable Idiot, a peaceable
; man by habit and at this moment
+ aman who wanted nothing more
:-than to be allowed to continue to

! tie a Dark Doc Spratley fly on his

jig at his work bench, was seized
with a spasm of irritation.

What pleasure could a woman
get out of tormenting a man in
this way?

He remembered distinctly how
_ his mother and father celebrated
wedding anniversaries. His mother
chose a gift, bought it and had the
bill sent to his father’s secretary.

She made reservations at a res-

Pk -‘taurant and took him there on the

due date. Women didn’t do that

-? any more now, All the old virtues

. were being lost,

“T can’t imagine how i it slipped
“my mind,” he said.
| He. was extremely nervous.

: Sometimes the Amiable Idiot .
could rise above his married con-
dition and deal loftily with his
~ Jalapeno Queen.

At such times he could lecture
her, gently and in a kindly man-
ner, about the need for more
, harmony and peace in our
troubled world.

‘He could talk at such length -
that she would eventually flounce
off and she was, on such occa- —
_Sions, an Olympic Gold Medailist

of the Flounce Division.
He had once sent her a birthday

‘ card which, in ‘an indelicate ref-

occasion

PAULITICS & PERSPECTIVES

erence to her small stature, asked,
‘*How can you have so much [loz
tothe oz?"

On this occasion she gave no
promise of Icaving the field of
battle until he was dust beneath
her chariot wheels.

“Harvey, over on what you
choose to cal! Mortgage Heights,
gave his wife a BMW for their
wedding anniversary.”

“My dear, Harvey, as is his
cheerful and foolish nature, signed
her dad’s name on a cheque for
the down payment on that BMW
and it will shortly be retrieved by
the sheriff's department because
no other payments are being
made. Also, if you don’t mind my
pointing it out, Harvey may go to
the Great lron Lonesome if his
wife's father prefers to press
charges,’’

“It’s the tought that counts,”’
said his wife.

“It is as Sir Isaac Newton
said,’’ he pronounced.

“What has Sir Isaac Newton got
to do with our 15th wedding anni-
versary?””

‘Dear Jalapeno Lady, it was Sir
Isaac, the recognized genius of his
age, who observed that all human
knowledge amounts to picking up
one grain of sand in an immense’
beach.”’ :

“Did Sir Isaac remember wed-
ding anniversaries?”’

“That Lam unable to say but
quite likely not, for outside the
ficld of gravity and falling apples,
he had his odd ways.

“Sir Isaac had a hole cut in his
kitchen door so his dog could
walk in and out of the house,
When the dog had pups, he cut a
small hole for the pups. None of
us, dear Mrs, Ghengis Khan, are
perfect.’*

“T still don’t see any relevance
to our anniversary."*

“But there is, there is.”

He went on, as he so often did.

‘Who, except a few geniuses of
Sir Isaac's rank, will ever be able
to explain humanity. Alone on the
face of this planet, mafes and fe-
males belong to totally different
species but nevertheless are able to
mate and produce fertile of f-
spring. In every other theatre of
sex, only the offspring of identical
species are capable of reproducing
themselves.”

Having for the moment diverted
her atterition, he began to rattle
on about reservations for dinner,
which he had been unable to make
because of busy phone lines and
of gifts he had not purchased, al-
though, God be his witness, he
had looked long upon many.

“} hesitate to be wrong.”

“You have never hesitated
about being wrong before.’’

‘But at least I hesitate to be
wrong about expensive gifts. One
forgets that anniversaries become
more expensive as the years race
by,’’ he said. ‘‘You know the

' saying, time goes so quickly when

we're having fun. Our 15th is, I

believe, a ruby anniversary?”
“No, it’s a paper anniversary.
“Surely not, my little cobra.

Paper is the second or third, isn’t

it?”

“Two out of 15 is as many as
you have been able to remember,”
she said. ‘‘So it’s paper this
year.”

He was delighted, promised to |
find her a gift of paper and
returned his attention to fly tying.

“Paper is enough,’’ she said,
“The deed to the Gang Ranch will
do fine.”’ ‘

Marine e Dr. subdivision approved

OWNERS OF the Ingledew éstate at 5460 Marine Dr. ob-
tained Monday a development permit for the subdivision of

‘the property into four lots.

Mayor Iark Sager and Coun.
Andy Danyliu were against the

motion’ made: at the West Van-

couver District Council mecting,

but were out-voted by the rest of

_ the abbreviated council — coun-
cillors Rod Day, Don Griffiths
- and Ron Wood.

Danyliu wanted a traffic con-
sultant to review traffic access and
egress from the proposed subdivi-
sion on to Marine Drive or on to
Marine via Kew Cliff Road.

A consultant will be hired to in-
vestigate the issue, but his findings
will not impinge upon the decision
to grant the development permit.

i Mayor Sager reminded those
“present at the meeting that the
subdivision was before council as
the result of a‘ recently passed
bylaw.

WEST VANCOUVER
DISTRICT COUNCIL
by Maureen Curtis

The bylaw requires that devel-
opment proposed for steep prop-
erty must be subjected to council's
development permit process.

Local land surveyor Bill Chap-
man pressed council to approve
the development permit before the
findings of the consultant could be
factored in.

“You can do the study to con-
sider safety, but you don’t change
the subdivision... We can’t change
the subdivision to improve safe-
ty,’’ he said.

West Vancouver District’s re-
quirement that there be no further
direct driveway access on

Will McMartin
THE WILL FOR CHANGE

On October 25th vote to put Will McMartin

on Kim Campbell's

new team in Oltawa.

Will McMartin
Progressive Conservative, North Vancouver
Authorized by Wayne Ziclke, official agent of Will McMartin

winding portions of Marine Drive
where ‘‘sight-lines’’ are danger-
ously limited was the major issue
raised during consideration of the
subdivision.

An option proposing access on
to Kew Cliff Road concerned resi-
dents living along the busy street.

The issue was complicated by a
decision by adjacent landewner,
Martyn Morgan, to subdivide his
property.

“Mr. Johnson (the late Harry
Ingledew’s grandson) shouldn’t be
held up by what Mr. Morgan
wants to do,’’ said Griffiths.

North Shore News columnist
Trevor Lautens, who lives across
the street from tae Ingledew
property, repeated his concerns
that the new lots would change the
character of the neighberhood.

Residents debated whether ac-
cess from Kew Cliff on to Marine
was any safer than the existing
driveway that services the In-
gledew estate.

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