Keep your cool

SEVEN shopping days
left ’till Christmas.
Better hit that zoo of a
mail and shop ‘till you
drop.

Of course, P assume vor ll
have vo park first.

Over the vears Pye had
nunicrous letters requesting
clarity on the do's and
don'ts of parking lot
driving. What part of the
mighty Motor Vehicle Act
applies here, or who's at
fault in this situation?

That sort of thing.

Pve been reluctant co
respond to these questions
for two reasons: 1) ‘The
answers are so rudimentary
to be laughable yer often
complex if you take
“adjusters” and lawyers into
account; and 2) P’'m nota
lawyer and never want to be
even remotely construed as
one.

The simple rule of park-
ing lot driving is this:
“Don’t be a bonchead.”
That’s it. That’s the only
rule that needs to be
applied.

Despite what a liar, er,
lawyer might argue, the
mighty Motor Vehicle Act,
that unsurpassed bible of
motoring law, has very
ambiguous relevance in a
parking lot as such a space is
rarely designed and marked
properly.

Do what vou will on
someons’s private property,
somcone’s backyard, if you
will, just do it right.

That is to say, pure anar-
chy tends to thrive in a park-
ing lor. Sort of.

Your friendly neighbour-
hood insurance adjuster,
indeed, even the courts, will
sometinies say otherwise,
noting that the B.C.
Highway Act omits parking

: signals

lots while citing the mighty
MVA’s definition of “high-
way,” which reads (para-
phrased), °...a road, street,
lane or right of way designed
or intended for use by the
general public and every pri-
vate place or pasageway to
which the public has access
or is invited.”

Talk about covering all
the angles!

While adjusters and
lawyers can be reluctantly
forced to admit that motor-
ing law is often inapplicable
in parkades and such, they
will contend that public rules
apply to areas that the public
has lawful access to.

In that sense, they are
right.

The bottom line? You
can’t drive like an idiot.
Anywhere.

The mass of mystification
emanates from the fact that
painting the road with a vari-
ety of lines and symbols can-
not be done by anyene other
than an agent of the
Superintendent of Motor
Vehicles (or the Super him-
self — hey, could happen)
and the most basic right-of-
way laws automatically over-
ride any well-meaning graffi-
i splashed on a parking iot’s
tarmac,

To wit, in a parking lot
we are to think: “That there
driver is supposed to assume
he must step but if he does-
n't assume that he’s techni-

north shore news

cally goo the right-of way
but should assume that |
know he knows what the fat
white fine means in the first
ven though it doesn’t
a there.”

Tam amazed by designers
who arbitrarily paint big fat
white stop bars hither and
dither as if they mean to
lawfully stop traffic.

Astop bar means nothing
without a stop sign nearby,
hot to again mention the
fact that legal motoring stan-
dards do not always ipply.

We're supposed to
assume they mean some-
thing, of course, er, some-
times —— unless we know
better, in which case real
rules are supp. to gover>
our thivking, Cer ip? .
worry, its ner,

It doesn’t help, alse
parking lot designers cre
more concerned with fitting
in as many shoppers in as
small a space as possible, tea-
sible manoeuvring space be
damned, nor that their con-
cept of road design and road
markings seems to be worthy
oy Fisher Price’s My-Liztle-
Garage.

Pm anxiously awaiting
the day when Jimmy
Pattison is broad-sided in his
Lexus by some unsecing lit-
de fellow backing his Tercel
out ofa dinky little Save-
On-Foods parking stall. A
tine example of mob rules (if
not gross irony).

But hey, if you've been
issued a driver licence it was
issued under the assumption
that vou will not drive
around like a stupid idiot
regardless of who's backyard
you choose to drive on.

s driver testing stan-

tag what they are,
many drivers are making a
real ass Out OF someone's
“umptions.” Nevertheless,

in the

most drivers get it. Most
motorists realise that parking
lots are Toony and adjust
their driving practices
accordingly,

They're vigilant, wary and
sate.

The igwest problem with
parkade driving is the fact
that most drivers have their
own private version of road
rules best suiting their own
needs.

Some will agree with me
whole-heartedly, others dis-
dain my above remarks like
they know better (bah ha

LAC i
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Friday, December 18, 199& - North Shore News - 43

parkade.

Be sate. Good will toward
ad and all thar, Above all
ele, whether vou agree with
me or not, just be sate. You
should have done vour shop-
ping in November.

Merry Carisemas.

haha.

Marv will not have a clue
and never will and sail oth
ers smugly choose to be
clucless.

Regardless, evervone
grips the wheel a lithe more
tightly when they enter a

mplete

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NEWS photo Mike Wakefield

BUD Cannon is the proud owner of this mint condition 1976 Baja Bug. The North
Shore man bought this beauty in the summer of 1997, although at that time the
Bug was in five boxes. A year later, and countless hours in junk yards, and
Cannon himself an award winning dune buggy. Ai the 32nd annual Bug Nationals
in Seattle this past summer the Bug won first place in the Off-Read/Thing cate-
gory; and a month later it took top honours at The Great Canadian VW Show in
Coquitlam. Gon’t expect to see Cannon’s Bug anytime soon — it’s tucked away in , ne
it’s very own heated garage until the warm weather returns. (If you have a special 725 Marine Dr. Norin Vancouver 987-4618
relationship with your vehicle, call the North Shore News photography depart- Don't Open Your Hood to Strangers

ment at 985-2131). : es

tAnpleabe te att Honda wht tesonh Cites enls Des