52 - Wednesday. September 25. 1991 - North Shore News Parents think youngest daughter teo secretive Q. My husband and I are worried about our 25-year-old daughter, the youngest of ous si: kids. The others have always brought their dates home. We like to know the young men and women with whom they are seriously in- volved, She has aever brought a date home, though we know she goes out frequently. We can’t under- stand why she hasn't introduced us to One young man. We are not critical of our children’s romantic interests. In fact, their boyfriends snd girlfriends, some of whom are now married into our family seem to like us very much. What's wrong? We're wondering if she could be a lesbian and afraid to (eH us. A. tt would be impossible for me to answer that without talking to her. If she were sitting here in my office, | would ask her if she thinks you are being intrusive or if she feels embarrassed in some way by her own choice of partners. ft is possible she is a lesbian, but there are also many other ex- pianations for her behavior. All you can do is respect her privacy. Perhaps this is her way of being different from the rest of her brothers and sisters. Don’t push her to bring dates home. Be supportive of her and let her know you're always there if she wants to talk about anything. Q. 1M IN 2 relationship with a woman who insists on deciding when, where and how we will have sex every time. She is a fantastic, wild and un- inhibited fover — but only when she decides it's time to be. For example, she won’t have sex unless she is well rested, has eaten three proper meals that day and has nothing heavy on her mind. We live within minutes of each other. If she’s in the mood for sex, she‘! call and @M rush right aver. Just minutes ago 1 called her fo ask if FT could come over and make mad passionate lave ta her. to ot ir MEW 10,096 sq. ft. Dr. Ruth Westheimer ASK DR. RUTH She said, ‘‘No. I have to get my sieep because I need to be all bright-eyed and bushy-tailed to take the car to the carwash in the morning.’’ What can I do about this situation? A. I'm sure there are many women out there who would put you before the carwash. They would be more than hap- py to let the car go dirty so they could have good sex with a man who is such an eager and spon- taneous lover. Perhaps you should consider looking for one of them. If you are determined to make this work with her, however, I suggest you not be so available when she is ‘tin the mood.”’ The next time she calls and says, ‘Honey, | want you now," say, ‘‘No. | am in the middle of cleaning out my sock drawer und | can’t siop now.” Q. I'm dating a woman who has already let me know she’s put our relationship on a timetable. a Home & Patio Gallery in Burnaby as of October 37, 1991 Your fast chance for Fantastte Savings on Top Quality outdoor furniture. PRICE AND MORE WHILE STOCKS LAST © Tables ¢ Chairs © Umbrellas f ® Cushions ¢ Chaise Lounges * Complete Groupings © dndoer/Outdoor Wicker ® Ae ttan & Accessaries Good Variety of Styles & Colours =o ied oem ren tw wo ay EF A ES ce aad | WOR Cas ce ow ot SG Chica - HOME @ PATIO Datinctive Indour & Gebloar Furiushings NORTH A OCVER Murine & Mombertar 984-9567 We've only been seeing other for three months. Ske that is the point for dise whether we think we might talk about a commitment someday. According to her, it is tough to have a warm, open, sexually giv- ing relationship with a man when you don't know if he's capable of commitment or not. Do most women feel this way? I am uncomfortable with this regimentation of our relationship. I care about her, but I don’t haow if 1 want to commii. i don't even know if [it wart to think about it next month. Should I he ready al- ready? A. 1 can’t say how long it should take anyone to decide to want to commit or not, but three months doesn’t sound like a lot of time to me. if she is that impatient. she should be kind enough to Iet you go so another woman, with more patience, can have you! When women write to me and say they have been waiting years to get a commitment, I tell them to set a time limit of not more than six months and move on. In this case, ] would say to her, “Give me six months before you even ask me to consider commit- ment. At that point, I will be ready to talk about whether or not I am considering the idea.” Lose weight Vancouver THOT North Vancouver Ys5-1888 Tan ares Port Coquitlam O52. 6644 pencrpomertener Tc TT tn } Eee NEWS photo Stuart Davis A PROPELLOR plane photographed between the spans of Lions Gate Bridge. NOW. 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