Doug Collins

® get this straight ®

THERE’S A lot of fun around and we are all clowns, even

though Joe Clark denies being one.

So here’s the final

batch of quotes for 1987, which Westbrook Pegler might
have called a year of wonderful nonsense.

If anybody should have been
Slushed down the toilet, it should
have been me, Vancouver Alder-
man Ralph Caravetta.

J only know him from his silly
utterances on council. | think he’s
a horse's ass. Alderman Harry
Rankin; on Caravetta.

If this country ever became a
right-wing dictatorship, he’d be
its Dr. Goebbels. Harry again; on
Doug, your humble servant.

Canada is a windbag
democracy. Soviet citizen Arkady
Berkutz, returning to the USSR
after six years in Montreal.

Canada does not operate like
that, Premier Howard Pawley of
Manitoba on the chances’ of
Quebec getting the F18 contract
even though the Manitoba bid was
better; just before Quebec got it.

it may be the cock that crows,
but it is the hen that lays the eggs.
The UK’s Margaret Thatcher.

dt wasn’t your sort of average

’ retreat place. You could take your
tle off but it didn’t make the decor
go away. Prime Minister David
Lange of New Zealand, on the
Commonwealth ministers’ stuffy
hideout in Kelowna.

I'm sick and tired of obeying

the law, I think we’ve got to do ~

j something. Bill Zander of the
| Provincial Council of Carpenters;
fon B.C.’s labor laws; proving that
labor still has a fot to learn.
There was a lot going on and

1977-1987
POLICE ROADCHECKS

“DECEMBER: 8TH2= JANUARY. 33RD

it’s awfully easy to forget
something. President Ronald
Reagan, on whether he knew
anything about the hostage-
ransoming plan in the Contra
‘scandal,

When we have something to say
we'll have something to say.
Liberal leader John Turner, trying,
to go one better than Mackenzie
King. .

The prime minister and the
truth are not on easy terms.
Turner again, being diplomatic.

Ido not cross picket lines; never
have and never will. The Great
Baloney, showing again that he is
a nincompoop.

We are preparing for possible
aggressions by the arch-Satan, the
world-devouring U.S. and her
Aireling servants. Tehran Radio,
echoing the Great Ayatollah.

fam not Ringling Brothers, I
am the minister of external af-
fairs. Joe Clark; trying to per-
suade us of something.

Mr. Vander Zalm is not an odd-
ball, but he is not a ball-bearing,
either. Globe & Mail editorial.

Mr. Swangard will not be
heading the exhibition any longer.

, Tourism Minister Bill Reid.

ZI want to make it abundantly
clear that Mr, Swangard has not
been fired. Tourism Minister Bill
Reid; after having a few words
with the premier.

Buddha and Jesu; were friends!

Shout from a woman during a
fight in the Jegislature prayer-
room.

The Pope is a lobbyist. So is the
Archbishop of Canterbury, Lob-
byist Thomas d’Aquino of the
Business Council on National
Issues.

The only reason I can think of
is because he’s popular. David
Chapman, killer of John Lennon;
on being asked why he considered
killing Johnny Carson.

Hang in there, Maggie. Don’t
give an inch, Streamer flown over
the Commonwealth Conference site
by a wise-guy.

Mrs. Thatcher keeps forgetting
that she was meant to be a grocer
and nota prime minister. Do you
hear that, you old cow? Actress
Sarah Miles.

Their slogan was ‘Show us your
tits.’ News report on T-shirt signs
displayed at the Indianapolis 500
road race by the “‘ignoroids.”’

This is a God-fearing country ex-
cept for the month of May. In-
dianapolis street-cleaner.

The guys are spoiled. They can
see naked women all the time and
after the game there'll still be nak-
ed women. I felt like doing my
nails up there, Exotic dancer at a
Vancouver pub; on being ignored
during the Canada-Soviet hockey
final. . Lo.

Doug Collins is a human stink-
bank, Cap College teacher Stan
Persky.

I’m beginning to believe in
Christmas! Your humble servant,
on signing the 88th copy of his
book at an Eaton’s Park Royal
book-signing.

PARK & FLY
$Q@50... day

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(next to Segal Furniture)

Express Shuttle — 24 hrs., 7 days
500 CAI Bonus Points for 3 days parking
278-8511

9 - Wednesdry, December 30, 1987 - North Shore News

WHEN IT COMES TO THE CRUNCH

tf you've been injured in an accident,
you may be entitled 1o compensation
{or out-of-pocket expenses, lost
incume and pain. If so, call Patricia
Armstrong or Howard Bradbrooke,
our personal injury claims team.

They're experienced a! providing
valuable counsel and representing
your best interests. What's more,
they'll work for a fair and reasonable
fee; either an hourly rate or on a
percentage basis.

For a free consultation on these
and other legal matters, calf us at
980-8571.

BRADBROOKE
CRAWEORD
& GREEN

COUNTERATIACK

POLICE

ROADCHECKS
1977-1987

NS]
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