T. ALISON Irons 0 of: he ‘North “Vancouver RCMP speaks about child sexual abuse at the North Van City
Library. Irons says children are hesitant to report. that they have been abused, so if they do report it, respon-

1S LOSING ‘sexual abuse. is avbrave: step for any: child;
often it'takes an average of nine:times before that child

It: who will listen and. lieve him.

“never tell. | : :
“RCMP Cst. ‘Alison Irotis, |W Ww

gave a seminar:.on «the ‘subject’

: ae at North, Vancouver: Cit

cent ‘are’ male,.' rely ‘on threats: t
Keep | children . from. telling ‘the

: Irons. said most: children attempt
fe) disclose ‘a sexual’ ‘assualt an
average. of nine times before they
find-an: adult - who! will listen,
believe them and take action to get
“ help. a |
= “Thats “Why iti is-very important
pthat you tell the child you believe
; them,” Irons told an audience of

schoolers.

“If your reaction telegraphs that
‘the child’s fault through anger,
child may never tell” anyone

igain,’’ Irons added. °  -/

“Preventing child sexual: abuse is
‘the concern of everyone in the
community, she said, because these
children will look for anyone who
they can trust and who will listen
— a neighbor, a Professional,
anybody in the community. *

So the manner in which a person
deals with a disclosure can have a
direct effect on how. a child will
recover, Irons added.

ALERTING SIGNALS

Signals to alert parents to: sexual
abuse can be’ physical and
behavioral.

Regression and withdrawal, flir-
tatiousness or fear towards a man
or men in general; nightmares and

fear of a‘ particular place are

common non-verbal indicators.

- NEWS photo Torry Petors

JEREMY Clader, Tina Christensen, ‘and friends prepare for the Variety
Club Dog-a-thon to be held this Saturday from 10 a.m. to noon at Mahon
Park: ‘North Shore elementary school children wili be walking their pets

to raise money for Variety Club projects. _.

woe

soThSKe oe ee

“A marked ° change and an
emerging: patteri could’ potentially
indicate sexual abuse,’’
pointed out.

However, one or two of these

. changes . couid: be: attributed to’

something else, she said, so parents

should know their child’s personal- .
-jty.and recognize. ‘trouble signs’

from ordinary. problems. °

The best means of prevention
parents can establish is to let their
children know they can come to
them and that they can be trusted
to listen and to believe them,
stated Irons. :

THREATENED»

“The majority of children do :

not lie about sexual abuse. Young

‘children, by and large, do not have’

the! vocabulary, the knowledge nor

“the; sophistication to lie about it,’?-

‘Irons said.. “Secondly, they have

; been threatened with dire. conse-
quences so a child is taking a,

tremendous risk by telling.”’
Irons said if you have’ been

.chgsen ‘it is not your role to deter-

mine the truth, that is the role of
the: Ministry of Human Resources

~ and the police.

. “Your role is to be empathetic,
sympathetic and say to the child
that you believe them.” ~

And it is the law to report any
suspicions or disclosures of child
sexual abuse to the MHR.

GUIDELINES
if a child discloses a sexual

assault to you,
lowing these guildelines:

* Find a quiet, private place to
talk; to the child, a place where the
child feels comfortable.

* ‘Listen. Let the child tell the
story in his or her own words.

*/Be reassuring. Tell the child
that you believe him: or her and
that you are going to get help.

*Contact the , authorities:
Ministry | of Human Resources,
police. |

* Don’t over-react and try not to
put words in the child’s mouth. If
there is more than one child, sepa-
rate them.
| * Caution questioning the child.
By doing so you could ‘con-
taminate’ valuable evidence mak-
ing it inadmissable in court.

*No matter what, do not ap-
proach the offender.
the authorities.

* Do not allow the child to leave!
your care if you feel he or she i is at

a Sage

Irons

Irons suggests: fol-

Leave it to /

3 - Friday, January 31, 1986 - North Shore News

‘Whistler, Ca pbell Ri Rive and 0} th North Shore
i vhent’ Benné

“foumeér ‘working with boys

“Bennett was originally. harged. April 3021985: wit

“was _subsequ:

- tional ‘21 sexual assault relate

jury,
Bennett “willl be sentenced i in Vancouver county court’ March