QUESTION: [I've been
‘ working on something you
once: talked about in your
columa but fm not doing
very well. It’s about knowing _
what I want. You said we
should know what we want
in life: You said you didn’t
mean things like a new-car,
but things that are related to
the kind of person you want
to be. Well, I made up a list,

pose too. You are so rightin
wanting a more positiv
but your negative list
give you clear clues. ~
with the example you ‘give .
us. How would you changeit
around so it will be positive?
Would you say, “I want
more courage”?, or, “I want
to be assured”?, or, “I want
inner peace and content-

of .. paper" each ~ of
negative wants. ‘Then make a
serious game of symbolically
getting rid of them. Throw
away. the one that. says “I
don’t want fear” and as it

. should stay, around and

your Y

Cli - Wednesday, July 15, 1981 - North Shore News

she | “get around much”? Did
you leave something out of
your letter? Is she crippled?
_If she is O.K., she'll get
around as much as she wants

« I believe it would be
kinder for you to let her
“shift for herself.” But be
sure not to give her a lot of
advice and make her think

| is;fair for us to go. off on
holidays and leave her to
shift for herself. liek we

Is it just :,
because she is 66 that you *
wonder whether you should
“care for her’? Why can’t

“STEWART:

she is doing some big thing |

by being on her own. Don't
make up a problem for her.
Give her the chance to do
well on her own.Look after
yourselves this summer. You
see, when she gets to be 86,
you. may have to care for
her. .So have a good time
now while you and she are
both young enough to
HAVE A GOOD SUMMER!

ment’? It depends on what
you mean when you say, “I
- don’t want to“have so many
fears,” Simply change the
“wording around into positive

affirmation. Then you are in

a position to USE the list
more constructively. Repeat
your list over and over two
or three times a day. Get a
picture in your imagination
of what you will be like as
your “wants” are- realized,
and then proceed, no matter
how haltingly, to BE the
changes you want to see

but I've just. noticed that

D
want and it’s hard to list‘what,
i DO want. I don't want to
give-you my list, but Fu give’
you one example. I've got on
my list, “I don't want to have
30, many fears:” Now do you
see what I mean iby negative?

Almost my whole -list is
negative. How do I go. about

making a list of things |
really WANT instead of

things I DON'T want? happen. As you repeat them

. over and over, see the
STEWART: Your list of repetition as a sort of series
negatives can serve a pur- of instructions to your

Don't label kids —

lands in the waste-basket, or
fire, say, “THERE GOES
MY. FEAR,” and on down

the list, symbolically surren- | :

dering everything you don’t
want.

In that way, you can work
on your “wants,” first of all

in a positive affirming way,

but also usé your negatives

in a. more, light-hearted |

game-playing way.

Buti in, .each case, let there

be action. “The ‘key to the
whole procedure lies in your
BEING the change you want

‘to see happen. Success!

QUESTION: Your warning
for parents to be careful
what they say to their kids
was right on. At 11 I was
called a whore when a 12
year old boy kissed me. I
didn’t know what it meant.
But after a while I foand out.
For reasons I'll never know,
I was attracted to the idea, I
suppose because it was
naughty and I wanted to
rebel against my parents

' Thanks for

NOTE FROM HAYDEN:

A request is at hand for us
to pass on the thanks “of our
group and many others” for
the splendid work that is
being done by THE MUSIC

(who called me lots of other ©!
names too). At any rate, I
gave it a good try. For six
years! It was a terrihie ex- —
perience and knocked my |
self-esteem into a cocked
hat. Fm still getting over it at
31 years of age.

a
STEWART: Your letter
should be heipful to parents
who are putting labels on
their kids. Thank you.

Scotchguarding
applied .

* Free estimates

* Satisfaction
guaranteed

® Fair prices

the music ° Fantastic results.

MAKERS. under Daphne CALL NOW
Chitty As 1 naderstend it 689-7719

these volunteers are doing a

great job of bringing music aA

and cheer to many. Keep up A TONNE
the good work Daphne! Our Ape TO
thanks.

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