Kids ris NEW millennium or no new millennium, people make a lot of New Year’s resolutions. In fact, most people make the same resolution every year, which is an indication of how useful the process is. Saying and doing are two very different things. The first can be done on a whim, but the second takes real effort, real courage and real time to develop new habits. I would venture to say that the older we get, the more calcified our habits become and the more difficult is it to change them. For children, habits are much more transitory. As they grow they are constantly developing new ideas, new ways of doing things and new sets of skills. They readily challenge the status quo, look for short cuts or take on some new task just for the sake of trying it. Perhaps they feel iess intimidated by failure, accept- ing that as chudren they can mike mistakes and get away with them as a natural course of leaning, or perhaps they feel that by doing things dif- ferently than their parents or even their peers, they will prove they are unique and ” special. Whatever the reason, children tend to be bigger risk takers than their parents. In fact, many pazents wish their children would do less on the action front and aren’t particularly impressed with the -feal effort they put into teen activities like skateboarding, ',/~ the real courage that gocs into _ diving off cliffs into tiny pools “of water or the real time they spend with friends leaming “the minute details of a video “game. : 1. olf you think about it, our ., ehildren face risk every day, Imagine if an adult went to 2°” : work for five hours cach day .°_ with direct supervision that “marked every piece of work they did, handed it back to be *_. corrected, or worse, hung it up in public view with errors ini, 2+. . . Imagine if that whole day “was also spent doing new “things that had never been done before, and not in just _ One area but in five or six dif- ferent areas. How many aduits ‘could exist under the pressure of constant supervision and “constant change? Having | “worked with many adults in _ Various settings, I feel confi- “dent in ‘saying few would © thrive in such an environment. Children, on the other hand, get excited about change and learning and while they don’t always appreciate © : suffocating supervision, cer- , tainly are anxious to show off : avtbing new they fearn to an ‘appreciative audience. They “tend to retain this enthusiasm for the risk of learning right “up to their early teens when it sometimes shifts from school- related activities and pleasing adults to socia! activities and pleasing peers. 2 Itis at this stage that risk- taking takes on its most dan- ~ gerous face and some adoles- cents get into the more seri- ous physical ‘and meatal risks - associated with drug use, sex- ual activities, violence and ~ careless driving. “So what happens to take the risk-taking willingness of °” children from the good risk- --- taking (flexibility and learn- ing) to the bad risk-taking (serious threats to personal safety)? Even more perplex- ing, if most children are nat- ural risk-takers, how do so many adults end up as non- risk-takers? The answer may lie, not in how each of us thinks but in how others react and respond to us. In the early years, chil- dren are rewarded for taking PARENTING k with ease, cha! chances and get a lot of posi- tive feedback from it. Whether they are climbing on play- ground equipment or learning to fide a bike, doting adults give them lots of pratse for taking chances. Everyone likes praise. Switch to 10 years down the road when praise from adults is a little harder to come by but praise from peers, especially for risk-tak- ing, brings back those warm and fuzzy memories of child- hood acceptance. It’s not too hard to see that teens may risk life and limb for the simple feeling of positive rewards. But once the teen stage pass- es, and especially with entry to the werkplace, risk-taking is frowned upon by many employers. New employees are trained in a specific way to do a spe- cific job and in many cases, are discouraged from creative thinking. It’s no wonder so many of today’s young peo- ple, technologically literate, are simply hanging out their signs and starting their own businesses. Risk-taking, in the infor- marion age, is as natural for young adults as it is for young children. It has become chic. Being somewhat of a risk- taker by nature, I admire the quality, at least in the early and adult stages of life. I am less enthusiastic about the teen stage and with three sons coming up to those years, am - exploring ways that I can encourage their natural ten- dencies to take risks, support " Out of COWNno longer means out of range. Introducing Globalstar Sateilite Service. Now you can reach beyond borders and talk from virtually anywhere to everywhere.’ All with a quality voice and messaging - service in a compact, portabie handset. It’s simple, dependable, affordable. Wednesday, January 12, 2000 —- North Shore News ~ 21 them with positive feedback and hope that they will limit it to such activities. I'm focussing on the out- door adventure pursuits as a good option. [fF you have near teens, it might be wise to think of healthy directions enge Status quo you can focus your children’s natural tendencies to take risks, before their peer group takes them down the wrong path. —- Graham Hovaey is the author of Parenting Is A Team Sport. NEW-HOUR Office Schedule rotates to meet PaaP ata (905) 272.7555 all paticnts needs ‘above Mac's, Grnesier Canara Sateme Ca © Copyngnt 1999. AK Fights Reserved * Service avisininkty based on progressive rosout Prraugh the year 2000. ASK you ical senice provider tor Coverage information 1.877.728.7466 (Sat-phore) wow giobalstar.ca