REVEALS AY ‘DOCTOR COLLINS was looking for something harm- » Jess to write about. Something that might com- fort the alleged 38 priests and parsons who signed a “letter to the editor in which - they claimed that Jesus loves “me in Spite of everything, i is this, comrades: take no ‘notice of phony food and health prophets.-Just go gentle into that good night, nodding happily. ! “=” The good doctor says this on the basis of recent intelligence i in which health scientists — if there ally are such people — have con- ‘tradicted themselves yet again. * It'seems that eggs are good for you after all’ They were when I’ was a kid, too. But then they. fell - into disrepute because of their cho- lestercl content. Now they have ee rehabilitated, , Just like Stalin’ cy knew it all the time. That’s s : T never top ped eating them. pleased. to ‘read about the new ITM. course at West Vancouver secondary. five schools rileins * i / tricts.} recall from that article that “progranis in this critical area. I zSuch a eae . fs ; When, ; ee Ludgate makes, : statements’ like: é Sas! Wesi ‘that ‘West than North Vancouver has.’ think that if you or Mr. Ciadgate ° We also » send flowers all over the world with A.F.S. Flower Wiring Service ™: ~ Briar Rose Florist 992 Marine Dr, N. Van .-- 3 985- -7673. fax'985-7808 ecebes eanatemone wentearect ye PEOPLES DEEP FOP AD AIP LAS EDA EA IONS fre, pirnenicrer ncaa cepencies : Sensei In moderation, of course: Eggs may ‘have helped Fat King Farouk of .. Egypt on his way to heaven. But he _-used to scoff a dozen‘at one sitting. * No sooner had I imbibed that good news than another story . popped up. This time it was about ‘beer, It seems that beer, too, can be good for. you. I knew that all the time. “A can of beer can be just as “good for you-as a glass of red wine," Dr. Michael Gaziano of the Harvard Medical School has told the American Heart Foundation, were. to., investigate “the per-capita student funding from the province, -you would find that this has not been the case. : : Several months ago, the North Shore News published an excellent article that showed the salaries of the administrators. of both school dis-, most’ North . Vancouver’ School - RRSP Tip #1 Alcohol raises the density of the good cholesterol that keeps the arteries free of dangerous buildups. Applause, please. These stories take me back to my school days, when old: Mr. Joliffe the county anti- booze funat- ic used to give us lectures about the evils of drink. : We were all assembled in the school hall for his important disser- tation, The teachers attended, too. “Bven Mr. Langridge, a former Army captain who had a nose like Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer. He stood there impassively, prow glowing, while his, charges were indoctrinated. i We had to-write an essay on the subject and no one approached the...’ task more enthusiastically than the budding Dr. Collins. f wrote 14 pages and ended'with the punch - line — in capital letters, of course: BEER CERTAINLY IS BEST FOR YOU — LEFT ALONE! . It carried an exclamation mark in case, [hadn't made the point -. strongly enough, and-was a play.on 2 a 10-foot high advertisement that : read: “Beer is. best for you.” Sman litle sod. No? plauded | District 44 administrators were paid more than the. comparable West Vancouver ‘school district. udminis-° trators.: Perhaps some: of the North Vancouver: funds that could have been spent on computers and new educational prograins were-spent in this manner instead Brent Mardon -- West Vancouver De ‘eux-Saxelby Insurance Services Inc. 105-200 West Esplanade, N. Van * {Located beneath Famous Players Theatre) _You face a greater risk of : “running out of money during _ your retirement than at any time. For 4 x } or * panning tE call us © in history. The sclution?. _— Start early. Invest wisely, My effort got me a prize and may have been the start of my cor- rupt newspaper career, since it was printed in the school magazine. There are dozens of other exam- ples of twaddle on the food and health fronts. Leeches were once thought to. be useful in the curing of disease. Then they became a joke. But now they are often used in operations where severed fingers-and limbs are , teattached. And people arc.“bled™ by other means, which is what the leeches did. ; ’ Does an apple a day keep the doctor away? No, says Professor Don Naismith of London University’s nutritional department. Apples contain “relatively noth- ing good,” he declared, Potato chips — another no-no as far as the medically correct are concerned — are much better for you, being rich “ Le Sunshine, white sand beaches, Golf tennis, fi fishing. and morel Starting g at ‘40, 000us. C&D Developments” Phone, Fax Seis Eten sae Shes eae in vitamins, iron, potassium and fibre. ] never gave them | up, in spite of Grey Eyes' doing her best to deprive me of them. Butter is another item that should complain to the Human Rights Council about being dis- criminated ‘against. ar The anti-butter propaganda cam- paign has led to a lot of people using margarine. Not me. Margarine is for depressions, economic and mental. So your man has always preferred butter to margarine. And what do we hear now? That margarine may not be so good for the heart after alli.” I knew that all the time, too. When he gels | to the big.-- Christmas party in the sky, Doctor: Collins will offer Mr. Joliffe a. drink. 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