40 - Sunday, August 25, 1991 - North Shore News

Folks here Jove to drop in for a
visit without giving any notice.
It's not that I'm phoneless —
when I did have a phone, they
never called to announce their
imminent arrivals.

This might not pose a problem
if only I had the option of simply
refusing to answer the door. But
up in this territory, people knock
briskly and enter, then begin to
snoop about fike hounds on a
fresh trail.

There is a certain amount of
community pride invested in
maintaining a liberal standard of
trust and openness. To lock my
door, if I had a lock, would be
tantamount to declaring not only
that I do not trust my country
neighbors but also that I have
something to hide.

Should I dash upstairs and
cower under the bed sheets till
they leave? The custom seems to
allow visitors free run of the
ground floor, but I think there is
a sort of unwritten taboo preven-
ting them from going up steps in
their investigations. Why should I
have to take flight, or make
myself presentable at the drop of
a latch?

I suppose | could fake a bur-
glary of my own home and then
use it as an excuse to secure the
premises. However, this would
send waves of fear and suspicion
through this innocent little burg.

This is, after all, a benign
nuisance. I’m grateful to be living
in a crime-free zone. These are
good, honest, friendly, well-mean-
ing people (with robust curiosity).
I don't want to hurt their feelings.

I've found it helpful to view
this as a sert of anthropological
project. It’s as if I'm living in a
remote tribal village, enjoying
friendship with the natives while
attempting to garter respect for
my own folkways, toc. Is it that
Pm attempting to have it both
ways?

LIFESTYLES

Neighbors drop in
without any warning

DEAR MISS MANNERS — About 18 monihs ago I mov-
ed from the city to a small community in the north where |
have been thoroughly enjoying tae solitude, climate and
beauty. Everything is going well, except that I am a bit
vexed about how to adapt to a peculiar local custom.

Judith
Martin

MISS MANNERS

GENTLE READER — Sure,
but why shouldn’t you? Miss
Manners hardly thinks it too
much to want to live in peace and
privacy and yet to get on .with
one’s neighbors.

She advises you to get the word
out that you are busy working (or
napping) most of the time, but
would love to receive anyone who
wants to visit, say, from 4 to 6
p.m. on most weekends. Then
lock up.

Should anyone complain, you
can apologize with the statement
that this was not done because of
that person or any other neighbor,
because they all know that you
don’t do visiting during the day.
It was done in case strangers who
don’t know your ways happened
by.
This not only reinforces your
bond to the community but
establishes you as the town eccen-
tric, which is not a bad thing to

be.

BEAR MISS MANNERS —
My husband and I, who have been
married for six months, each have
a child from a previous marriage.
His child lives with his ex-wife in

another state. When IT mail gilts
and cards from our home, am 1
supposed to sign his child's name
also?

When ! asked my husband to
sign some birthday cards I was
sending out, he said, ‘*Oh, TF sign-
ed John's name, too."’

} felt bad, as I did not want
him to think 1 overlooked this
child, but I did not think it was
correct to sign his name, as he is
not here.

GENTLE READER — It is
never incorrect to think of a fami-
ly as a family, regardless of the
whereabouts of individual
members at any given moment. Is
your husband always in the house
when you sign his name? Do you
not include him if he is travelling
at the time?

Miss Manners suggests telling
your husband how pleased you are
at the suggestion to sign his son’s
name, because it makes you feel
that he is a part of the household.

DEAR MISS MANNERS -—
When you are visiting a foreign
country. ane in which you used to
live, shou.d you call a friend
whom you will not have time in
your schedule to see? In other
words, is it more polite to call and
say hello and send your regrets, or
not to call at all?

GENTLE READER — Miss
Manners promises you that if you
do not call at all, you will run in-
to this person in the street straight
off. And into six of his or her
closest friends who will not fail to
say, ‘‘But I thought you were such
friends.’’

Therefore, the better method is
to send a note shortly after your
arrival, not to propose an
engagement which you have no
intention of making, but to an-
nounce that you wish to say hello.

This is particularly effective in
countries known to have erratic
postal services.

But as you have not given a
hotel name, you may follow this
up with a short note when you
return home, saying cheerfully
that you were sorry to have miss-
ed seeing your friend, without an
excuse that would make it clear
how low a priority such a visit
had on your schedule.

West Van students receive scholarships

THE WEST Vancouver Teachers’
Association recently awarded a
number of 1991 scholarships to
district students.

Elementary awards for fine and
performing arts and athletics went
to Daniel Enjoy, Matthew Parsons

and Mischa Thoma, all of Irwin
Park school, Courtney Lutz of
Ridgeview school, Kimberly
Buckham of Gleneagles school
and Stephen Mullen of Caulfield
school.

Secondary awards and scholar-

Mount Seymour
Soccer Association
Registration for Boys aged 6-18

For more information call:

ships were given to Maria Psillos
of Sentinel school and Jenny
Chesko of West Vancouver Sec-
ondary school.

A special scholarship in memory
of Donaid Woodworth was given
to Heidi Zurbrugge.

Savary bakery botch up

A LIFESTYLES feature in the
Aug. 18) News incorrectly
reported that Savary Island Pie
Co. products are available at
various retail outlets on) the
North Shore and in Vancouver.

ADULT & ADOLESCENT ALCO!
Also specializing in:
° Depression . Eating Disord

¢ Grief and Loss «

Member, Canadian Guidance

|
Brenda M. McDonall, BA, Cert. Indiv. Couns.

¢ Children of Addicted Parents « Separation and Divorce

For Appoiritment Cail 925-9680

Savars [sland no longer sup-
plics its baked goods to other
stores. The bakery’s products
are available only at Savary
Island’s 1520 Marine Dr. loca-
tion in’ West Vancouver.

nat

OL & DRUG COUNSELLING

ers « Codependenc

& Counselling Association.

Clay & Textile Arts
Program — Fail 1991

Two Year Di

ploma Program

Space available for full-time and part-time
credit courses in:

*Drawing
Weaving
*Sculptural Clay

eCommunications

*Art History

*Design

‘Functional Clay

*Textile Surface Design

eMarketing for
Craftspeople

Crafts Instructor Training
One Year Certificate Program

This program prepares students who have a
background in crafts to develop programs and
to teach in seniors centres, adult day care, and
rehabilitation centres. :

CAPILANO

COLLEGE 2055 Purcell Way «

For further incormation contact:
Joyce Fancher 984-4911
Mieneke Mees 986-1911, local 2008

North Vancouver » B.C.

TECHNI-CAL
CAT FOOD

Johnnycat
Tuna for cats

6 07. tin

Milk Bones
#473, Case /toxg* 2 FE

10kg + 678

3 for SG*

433 East 14th, N.Van.

984-7133

Bosley's :

PET FOCD MART