40 - Sunday, January 18, 1987 - North Shore News

Lifestyles —

DEAR MISS MANNERS — I’ve started to work ai a place
where all the employees are ‘‘taken out’’ for lunch on their

birthdays.

After they have finished eating,
our unofficial social director takes
note of how much their tab comes
to and asks everybody to con-
tribute such and such an gmount
to make it up.

We have 12 people in our
department, so it works out to
about once a month. Although I
love these people dearly, I com-
pletely disagree with the money
politics of it.

posted -

GENTLE READER —
Manners wonders if Hal and
others also feel coerced, but
obligated to keep up for others
what has been done for them.
They might all be relieved if you
conquer your fear.

There are two ways of handling
this. Miss Manners suggest ap-
Pproaching the ‘‘social director”
when the:: is no birthday notice
so your suggestion will

Miss

miss

manners

by Judith Martin

The restaurants we go to are of
the impossible-to-get-out-for-
under-10-dollars type, and I usual-
fy can’t afford them. Also, a
sign-up sheet is posted about a
week in advance, saying, ‘‘Hal’s
birthday: Sign up if going.’’

Thongh this sounds very demo-
cratic, in fact it isa’t, because how
can I refuse contributing to Hal's
birthday when he contributed to
mine?

I would like to either demur
politely from these outings or sug-
gest to our social director that the
money part of them be dropped,
but I am scared.

not seem to pertain to any one in-
dividual’s birthday — asking that
future parties be heid in cheaper
restaurants or, if you’re shy about
saying that, places where you can
eat a “‘lighter’’ meal.

The other is simply not to sign
up, but to leave the Hal of the day
a note wishing him a happy birth-
day. That way, you have shown
your good will toward the person,
without having to participate in the
celebration.

DEAR MISS MANNERS — I
bought my tI-year-old niece a
Christmas gift, but unfortunately {
was not able to kand-deliver it on

WINTER PROGRAM

YMCA combats stress

IF THE stress in your life needs
some handling, the YMCA may
have the program for you.

Y-Worry is a stress management
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A free introductory session is
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learn tech-
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_ Participants will
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time, so she received it a couple ov
weeks late.

My sister-in-law refused her
daughter's present, because it was
late and not personally delivered.
Is this rejection proper? I was
highly insulted and hurt. How
should I handle this uncomfortable
situation?

GENTLE READER — While your
sister-in-law’s behavior is
unspeakably rude, Miss Manners
urges you not to allow it to
preclude your developing a rela-
uonship with your niece.

Quarreling with her mother
would cut off such a possibility.

But Miss Manners can't quite
see your accepting her dictum,
either. She only suggests that in
the future, you put the presents
directly in the hands of your niece
— so that if the mother objects,
because the presents are late or on
any other such grounds, she will
have the burden of confiscating the
present from the unfortunate
child.

DEAR MISS MANNERS --- is
there any proper way to send a
card? Is the fold of the card put in
the envelope first or is the fold at
the top? Does the print/front of
the card face the front of the
envelope or the back?

GENTLE READER -— The object
is that the card should apnear fac-
ing the reader when the reader
opens the envelope from the back
and reaches in to pull it out.
Therefore, the fold is at the bot-
tom, and the front of the card
faces the back of the envelope. It’s
perfectly simple. Why Miss Man-
ners had to sit here with her fingers

physical activity as they relate to
Stress.
call

For more information,

251-1116.

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