TR TA a9 0,

‘shun
about juvenile delinquency, —.

“page 20, March 29, 1978 - 5

There’s a helluva commo-
goin” om nowadays .

so I sorta figgered the Back.

Porch shud straten sum of» ;

these young diagdats out.

F’rinstance, like showin’ how
delinquency is a ceal hich
class proffeshun, wich you
don’t get frum slashin’ a few

tires or mugging a few old

ladies. | |
Y’see, in the rtaasep'
Thirties, summer wus fer.

kids! Seems like the Good
Lord opened up the spout an
the sun came down in a sorta
golden flood all summer.
there wus skinny dippin’ in
the warm back eddies of the

. Fiver and the only worry was

tryin’ to figger wot. ancient
fossil of twenny five or so.
wud be waitin’ fer us behint —
the teacher’s desk when Fall

showed up.

So, wile Fate rested in
limbo, we swum the’ bac
eddies an -plastered our-
selves with mud an lay in the
hot sun,..an on one glorious
Satiddy morning Young Duff
an me became JUVENILE
DELINQUENTS!

A STUDY OF TRAINS

And now the Back Porch’
will tell the story of Young

Duff an Old Duff, wich ain’t —

been tolt before...an starts
on the back track, behint the
‘roundhouse where the host-

_lers stowed the big mountain

locomotives after they had
snorted an bellered thru the
Rockies.

Them locomotives wus real
tired as they set on the back
track after the fires wus

pullt, jest sighin’ onct in a
wile as they coolt off an.

Personnel

‘Jeakin’. a. “dribble of “steam

here an there.

The smiell. of ‘hot. oii an.
‘steam drew kids - frum | all

over town, jest like wild bees.

follerin’ the scent of honey..-
an to keep the kids frum ih
honey, the hostier. . wis.

s’posed to open the cylinder -

‘cocks an let. the steam

., escape. Jest to. play safe,

, they~ also flang a big: chain -
under the wheels.

Well, ‘sir,
Young Duff found old 5777,
she wus the answer to a kid’s

‘prayer! She set there, like

_ Shakespeare ses, with a
-“ean and hungry look’’ - jest

_Jike she wuts— impatient. to

take, two hunnert pounds of
steam into her cylinders ©
‘agin’ an slam it.to the drivin’.
rods an heave. the slack outta
eighty cars an get her rollin’

past the west switch to pick _
up speed fer the Big Hill.

AND THE _ STEAM
WUS STILL CLOSED!

i
f

In a. flash - we had the

_ chains pullt frum under the
~ wheels an Young Duff spun

the big. polished wheel fer
’ the valve gear an then he

pullt back on the Johnson bar
_ «real gentle, jest like we had
seen the hogheads-do it, wen
they took up'the slack in the
drawbars: fer a ninety-car
freight. i

| THE GREAT ;
: TRAIN ROBBERY

Nuthin’ happened. fer a
moment - an ‘then sum wet
steam trickled thru the valve
box an into the cylinders.
There wus a sorta tired snort

thru the stack’ an Ol $777 ~

lurche: forward! -

PERMANENT OR TEMPORARY
CALL.

984-0251

OFFICE -
ASSISTANCE

KEY
PERSONNEL

OFFICE ASSISTANCE -
. [CANADA] LTD.
#201, 1130 Lonsdale

. North Van

wen ‘me an.

_moaned, sorta low an mourn-

‘ful - an when she echoed off.
the roundhouse. walls: an.
- bounced off.the mountains,
‘she wus a-sound to set the:
hairs on the back of yur neck

Jest a. “quiverin "1.

The valve gear let another

squirt of steam into the

- cylinders .an the. oid | giri

| rumbled down the back track

an -when she reached the
end, Young Duff. shut her
~ down...an we ran like hell!

- But, -wot about Old Duff. -
an the- hard. line’ that
separates. today’s punks

frum REAL DELINQUENTS?

To understand, ‘it’s -meces-

saty to po back in time to the.. |
, mud in the trenches of Ypres’ }

to: the ©
_ Christmas Day wen Old Duff.

and -the, Somme,
discovered that the Officers’

Mess

pudding -. the tradishunal
**Plum Duff’ ,

an apple jam an bully beef.
So Old Duff scrounged ‘the

pudding. The men in. the
trenches had plim pudding ©
«and he wus. “Duffy” to the ‘

end of his days.
DEEDS OF VALOR

But the story doesn’ t end

there. Y’see, it wusen’t
much later wen sum of the
fellers got pinned down by a
“German machine gun frum:a

. pill-box in No ne gun frum a Al

so Old Duff went out an blew

up the pill-box an brung * em
back, |

So they awarded Old Duff
a decoration for valor - the
Military Cross...an Old Duff
tolt them where to shuv it!

He never accepted the

medal...an wen I think of O!

Needs

Sylvia Gowane, Manager, and
Maureen Stirling, Represen-
tative

Young Duff .pullt the -
whistle cord an she let loose —

2 squirt of v water. an: then she -

3777 rumbiin

would ‘have — plum,

- but the fellers |
in Duff’s outfit had only plum —

track w ‘orate Youn

throttle, I sorta get: the
fselin’ that Lord Nelson on
Drake mite agice wiih me,
wen I figger that being” a

delinquent is sumthin’ to be |

earned - not picked ¥ "P frum
the gutter! a

aod

“Chassis Lube.
‘oil. -Filter

(most cars)

’ down the back -
2B Dat atthe:

5:00 p.m. -

= to all.

| This offer Expires May 6, 1978

© (comer of

987 - 4448

i

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