4 - Wednesday, January 19, 1994 — North Shore News

The peculiar pleasure of getting even |

STRICTLY PERSONAL

-ESN’T IT the Italians who
_ are supposed. to like their:
revenge | eaten cold?

Maybe an early Roman soldier
slipped over Hadrian’s Wall, i ingsert-
ing a vengeance-secking gene into
the Hunter clan bloodline, but I do
have to admit to finding a certain

‘inexplicable pleasure.i in getting
revenge. ;

Call it'a sick thiill, if you want,
There is'just something so exquis~
itely delightful: ‘about getting even.

/ Lknow you're not Supposed to
say this, certainly not admit to it in
‘print, but the truth is, f don’t think.

¢ there's actually anything morally
awronh. with getting even.

Medicaliy, I'm sure it’s good for

There are bound to be studies
that: show executives to be healthier:
than people in middle management,
because they get to stress everyone
else out around them, rather than
~ being’ stressed from above.

T do know there are stats that say
guys who hold their temper and bite
their lips, the nice guys, die
younger than the real pains- in-the-
butt. If it’s not cancer, it's ulcers.

Revenge is something nice guys
don't get into, right? Ergo, revenge
must be good for you.

Now, the Christian thing to do is
to forgive. | know this, And,
indeed, in some situations, | am
happy to forgive.

In some other situations, fm not
quite so happy to do it, but can be
bribed, or stroked.

And sometimes J cin be tricked
into it.

Of course, there are people who
are smarter than me and trick me all
the time, but | don't normally
notice because Mm too dumb.

Ah, but, cruel as life is, every
once in a rare while I do get a
chance to stick it back lo some

" wretch who seriously crossed me,
and that mikes the suffering almost
worth it.

} remember one guy, an
Australian, who hogged the wheel
of a big truck | wanted to have a
turn driving during 4 voyage across
the Nullavbour Plain a few years (or
is it decades?) back.

This doesn't sound like a partic-
ularly hideous crime on his part,
and maybe Iwas just excitable at
the time, but this refusal of his to
give up the wheel got on my nerves
something awful.

He was supposed to be the pho-
tograpker on the expedition we
were mounting.

Being expedition photographer
was a responsible role that should
involve taking pictures. Instead, he
was pretending to be Mad Max. |
guess it was a period-male Aussic
* mentality.

Whatever, it irked me deep.

Besides, T really wanted to be

y : eae
‘at Victoria's world class hotel on the Inner Harbour

‘ONE NIGHT

-7 nights a week
» single/double occupancy

_ $94 |

TWO NIGHT SPECIAL

Any 2 consecutive nights
single/double occupancy

“Valid for leisure travel only © Excludes ides groups/tours
Taxes not included ¢ Subject to availability
® Thru Feb. 28/94, (excluding Dec. 23-25/93)

RP BPW

OCEAN POINTE RESORT

Q NT EH ot A _K Bb O W KR

45 SONGHEES ROAD, VICTORIA, B.C. VIA 613
TEL: (604) 360-5859 FAX: (604) 360-1041

RESERVATIONS: 1-800-667-4677

doing the stecring mysel! on that
great, open desert,

Couldn't get enough of it, and
this pig of a wheel-junkie was seri-
ously biting into what should have
been my time. Bul as lang as we
were Moving, f had to tolerate him,

We were in quite a hurry. you
see, driving day and night, to get to
the other side of Austratia to make
a rendezvous with the media fora
protest.

There were a dozen of us,
including two healthy and active
young sheilas, as they were called
in that era, whom the guy hogging
the wheel had taken a fancy ta.

For some reason that eluded ny
perceptions entirely, the sheila-per-
sons seemed to have taken a fancy
to him, too, They were up there dri-
ving beside him an awful lot.

By the time we reached the far
side of the plain, we finally booked
some rooms in it motel to give
everyone a last chance to rest
before we went into action.

The motel was a bit overcrowd-
ed, so my wife and | wound up ina
small room adjacent to a larger bed-
room, where the Aussie had bedded
down with both of the young ladies.

Somehow, despite what seemed
to me like atotal lack of talent, this

“character had sweet-talked them

into a menage a trois. How, t have
no idea,

But there they were, the three of
them, snuggling under the covers
and giggling, a great big idiot grin
on the Aussi¢ bloke’s face, as you
van imagine.

Rather than closing the door
between our bedroom and theirs,
some dark instinct caused me to
wedge it open.

I spent the entire night talking
through that open door, telling
anecdotes, jokes, dead puppy sto-
ties, singing songs, reminiscing,

Shore Spas

“Use the equity in your home ~ borrow $10,000 to'$50,000 and pay
them oif. Cut your monthly payments by as much as two-thirds. .

. LOAN AMOUNT

$10,000
20,000
40,000

‘MONTHLY PAYMENT

GORDON HOLLANDS

j

philosophizing and generally fili-
bustering, preventing the three
young Australians from gelling on
with anything.

Pitiless? You bet!

By dawn, the Aussie chap’s eyes
were haunted. The moment had
come and gone, The sheilas were
passed out, Nothing at all had hap-
pened, except a lol of squirming,

Md ruined a onee-in-a-lifetime
fantasy-come-true for him,

Estill smite cruelly when | think
about it.

My wile’s version of events is
that the girls didn‘t reatly want to
do anything with that naughty pho-
tographer boy, and what f really did

CLEANSING FACIAL

WITH THIS AD

was spend the night maintaining a
noisy presence to make it impossi-
ble for him to get away with any-
thing.

I don't like this version of
events. [t makes me out lo be some
kind of responsible, protective older
male, as opposed to one mean
S.O.B. from Canada getting his
revenge.

Maybe, as 2 woman, my wile
doesn’t understand what was really
going on, A woman would never
dream of anything so low as getting
even, would she?

Would she? Aw, come on. Tell
me it’s not true,

$2.09

[PEDICURE & MANICURE $3999

I We specialize in excellent rejuvenating, hydrating, collegan

Scacne facials using only the finest and purest ingredients,
Other Services Sculptured Nails, Waxing,
Lish Tinting & Make-up

Chez Elle ESTHETICS

1369 Marine Drive, West Vancouver 922-1225

PERSONAL INJURY

Free Initial Consulzacion
Douglas W. Lahay
CLARK,WILSON

BARRISTERS & SOLICITORS

800-885 Wese Georgia Street, Van.

687-5700

24 HOUR MESSAGE 643-3161

ICBC’s policies are not law. | will
you a fair settlement or trial awar

. Our factory | is overstocked!
~ Now, fora limited time save

$450 on the Navy Blue Pacific,”

model 405 spas with CSA’.

deluxe ozone purifying system.»

Open 7 days a week

° 67 person package »
* Silent running ©
9 Power Smart ©

* Financing available *

ON TOTAL PACKAGE
Hurry sale ends Jan. 31/94

Lynn ValleyCentre -
, 987- 5234

(nex! to Food Fair

Cell: wy $9 7 8

HAMILTON ©
MORTGAGE >
GROUP LTD.

Vancouver, B.C.

10th Floor - 1199 W. Hastings St.

| BRIAN ¢ CHATFIELD
Res: 2263881 ;

Resi 922-3927, oe Te

682- 9999 Fax: 684-7190