THERE T-was; coming back on the’? ferry and wondering |
what to write about, when my evil cye detected the name!
_ Collins.in' the Evening Wimp. ‘What's this?”? I thought. i
- Well; it.was. Denny Drivel (aka) Boye, seeking to do a bit of

_ boxing with me.

The pleasure is is mine.

' The theme of his piece was a
. departure for Mr. Drivel, whom |
will call: DeeDee for. short. Mostly,
_ he writes about hamburgers (when
he isn't sucking up to Murray
Pezim) and has been known to of-

fer recipes that must come to him |;

in dreams. He also likes to discuss
the uncles of his youth. Or maybe
‘there was only one uncle, Such of -
‘forts tend to blur: oe
On this occasion, however, a
« DeeDee was out to prove that he’

‘ “too is a defender of free spzech.

. Five years after it all started, and
after a pack of appcal judges. had
said ‘that Keegstra’s rights were be-
‘ing violated (thus making it safe

» for the DeeDees to enter the act) 3.7”

“our hero discovered that James
- Keegstra and Ernst Zundel should:
"be allowed to express their opi-,
“ nions, ||.
. “There was much backing and |
"filling, because DeeDec wouldn’ {
- want'anyone'to think he.was on

the, wrong side. Still, it just goes to.

show that.once a ball Starts rolling,
even his sort can give it a push.” :
He sought to link me-with °

. Keegstra and Zundel but dida' t

quite have the balls to be that’,

direct about it, However, he
“claimed that I write in a ‘‘badly-,
“edited suburban give-away" and

. {
. j
like me has to say? But he can't.
kid me. This bore fascinates him.
He probably reads me under, the f
. blankets at night.

-DeeDee would dearly love to be
as boring as | am, but can’t quit
~ make it. I know this because w
have shared newsrooms: At that

as time, and later, DeeDec had} fan c

cessive affection for Demon Rum.

He has since reformed but has e

“been known to fall by the wayside.
NEESER EAS

“deliver ‘tiresome twaddie.!" Iam 4.

not interesting, cither, or pro--. {
: vorative . Just a bore and a hypo- if
g {

a “DeeDee must
~ ing letters to the editor, for.if he

, doesn’t read tiresome twaddle how *

* else ‘would he know what a bore. !

© it, he advised Bill Bennett. It's a |

7 “DeeDee. would dearly : a
love to be as.boring as Tam, |

but can’t quite make it.”?

}

_When that happens, we get.
ront-page stories lamenting his
eakness, or what he calls his

_ tdisease,"" which J call bending the

' ‘elbow with too much gusto. He
‘also exhorts common sinners to. -
F follow him into the straight and’

harrow..By rights, he should: be in,
a Saivation Army band, banging
the big drum:

-» Even more hilarious were the |

full-page ads showing. what his

. “mighty newspaper was pleased 10%

call""The Sage of: Ambleside’? —_

* none ‘other than DeeDcee himself.

But toud laughing shook the ads “y
off the page. &, a
“The Sage once pronounced - :
~-anathema’on:Expo 86. That was |
“before the fair had started. Drop

mess, Fortunately, Bennett never
“did read columnists who weren t
eh

“day. we

DeeDee is incapable of recogniz-
ing a winner. Recognizing a
tongue-in-cheek quip is also |
beyond him. A couple of. months
ago, for instance, | wrote that
there should be a law to prevent

. people like Mistress Quickly (aka
», Nicole Parton) from polluting the...
Gn public domain with mental bungl-

ing.

The reference was ‘to Quickly" s
suggestion that Svend Robinson
and Laurier LaPierre, the well- | ~
known sodomites, were twor
brave men ‘secking justice.'' (By
coming out of the closet.)

It would be nice to help Denny:
‘Drivel understand humor, but I
“already have a full-time job.
Perhaps there should be an ca-

planatory bubbic coming out of
the side of the column wher per-
siflage is afoot. ae
About that “badly: “edited

"> suburban newspaper.’ .
_. .The-very day Mr. Drivel’s piece

. ‘appeared, there were four cortec-
“tions in The Wimp. The first”
began: (‘The Vancouver Sun Cae

roncously, reported Wednes- -

error...” (they:meant because of. :
an editing error). And so on. -*

Whatever you say, DeeDec, we .

bores have our place, like at;
mectings where we demolish i im-°
migration ministers, And some:

“times we are noticed, dull though 5. :
we may be, Why, according to an
your paper, Pat Carney was going

on about me the very day after.

; your piece appeared...
- Bores even sell books. The ‘Hest :
; and Worst of You-Know-Who has.

been’on the best-seller.list for some:

weeks, even though it was publish- «|
ed last October. Get yourself a

‘ copy’ for a incasly $16.95, It might’
_improve-your style, Or maybe oo. o.
you'd like one for an‘uncle? @ ~

*s next, ‘Due to an editing

9. Friday, June 17, 1988 - North Shore News

ome to beautiful Clam’ Bay Farm on North Pender Island, and join”!
Pacussionist Ext naire” Govindide tna hands on dram workshop.

opics include basic hythin theory, hand positions to produce different.
tones and subtones of the drum, improvisation, understanding of how
_drums are Made and the differences beleeen therm si size, pitch, tu
meditation and power of concentration Dido will bring more;
than 30 drums and other percussion Instruments, The voice and various percussion :
techniques ‘will be used as we!

‘the woods, horses, ’ canoxing, hot tub and sauna.” ©

A 50% deposit due'2 weeks before workshop will confirm your J jeaistfation :
rode it odate a larger group for this, workshop’ only,camping space will be ©:
le availa