C10 - Sunday News, February 14, 1982

Not superstitious, but

QUESTION: Are you super-
stitious? In my mind, F've got
it all settled that I am not
superstitious, that there fs no
room for superstition in the
experience of an intelligent
person. Nevertheless, the
fact of the matter fs that |
give attention to old super-
stitions I was raised on. |
“know” that it ts perfectly
O.K. for me to pay bills on a
Thursday, but my folks had a
saying against it, and trath-
fully, I don’t feel comfor-
table about it. | never heard,
as a kid, about the ladders
and black cats and number
13 items and they do not
bother me (very much) but I
am automatically quick to
toss salt over my shoulder if I
spill it, and although I joke
about it with her, I asked my
wife to wear “something bor-
rowed and something blue”
when we were married. If I
do something out of Hine,
without patting fit right (like
spilling salt) I am not anx-
fous, or afraid something

.

univck~ will happen to me,
bat I am definitely uncom-
fortable. Don't you think
that fs a little strange for a
pretty mature and
sophisticated person?

STEWART: As the funny
man said, “I’m not super-
stitious - it’s unlucky!”

In the situation you
describe, it may not be
superstition that bothers you
so much as it is simply the
business of finding yourself
still clinging to something
out of your past, that now,
no longer stands up in your
thinking and your way of
life. Most of us are holding
on to more of that sort of
thing than we care to admit.
It is is just a matter of not
letting ladders cross our
and not walking under black
cats, we can joke about it
and know that it is not very
important to us. But, if we

Weary wife
needs break

QUESTION:

I am a 34 year old
housewife who works part
time and mothers three kids
and one husband. I was
trained (very well) to do
everything perfectly, at the
right time, in the right way,
no matter how hard it was
and no matter how long it
took apd no matter how
much self-sacrifice was
Involved. Well, thank
goodness, in recent months,
I've come to see that that is a
stupid way for me to run my
life. | am learning to do the
dishes when I want to, or
even leave them for
someone else. I don't do
ANYTHING now because tt
fs Monday and that's the day
I've always done such ard
such. I am delighted about
my pew way. BUT! I can't
get over feeling sort of guilty
about not being so hard on
myself. | like my mew way,

bat how long will it take me
to get used to it and not feel
ashamed of myself for giving
myself a break?

STEWART:

It will take a while. You
studied that other way for 30
years and you won't leave it
behind in a few days.

The other day, out at the
Airport, I saw a father
pulling one of those valises
that is on castors. Struggling
along behind him was his
son, about 5 years old, I'd
guess. He was pulling his
duffle-bag, just like his dad,
but his bag did not have
castors. His dad saw he was
not carrying his bag and said
to him, “Lift your bag
Kevin”. And the kid said.
with the intuitive wisdom of
the ages. “Aw dad, why
carry it when it drags’ so
good?”

Feel better”

He can handle it?

QUESTION: My fiance has
a drinking problem,
although he is sure he can
handle it. He says that when
we get married, he will
straighten up and be a good
basband and, hopctully, a
good tather. For some
reason | belleve him. I think
he will, although thai idea ib
pot very widely accepted by
people who, | suppose, real.
y ought to know. If he feels
that way, and I feel the same
(with only a few butterflics)
surely, together we can puil
tt off happily. The trouble ts,
my friends all say to forget
him. They think he bs «2 loser
and | would do better to get
out fast. What do you think?

STEWART, | think you
would do well to pay deep
reapect to your own fechings
(including, of Course those

DESIGR

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ALUMINUM LTD, “Windows

Enclosures
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few Dutterthes) and pay deep
respect to your best reason
ing Todo that well, you will
need to agree with yourself
that there ts a tremendous
demand upon you to be pain
fully honest

if ] were you. | think |
would keep pretty much to
myself for a few days. in
order to “listen un silence to
the wisdom of your higher
Self and to sharpen up your
willingness to respect that
wisdom = trustingly You
already know that the odds
are heavily against your suc
ceeding in helping him with

a big yob that he seems un

willing to tackle However
you may know something
that the odds makers have

not been able to include in
their “figurings Do you
thook ot a8) dependable
chnough?’

Storm

and

“cling” to those things it is
time to put them to the test
and be rid of them. They
MAY be symptoms of more
important clingings that we
still honour.

For example, if, with your
mind, you hve passed up a
childish concept of God that
you had years ago, but you
still automatically “see” Him
as a kindly old man off in the
clouds, or a mean and
vengeful “person” who will
“zap” you if you are naughty,
then you are allowing
yourself the sort of super-
stition you can’t afford. Or,
if you are still trying to shape
other people’s lives to suit
you, even though you know
that exercise to be sheer
stupidity, then you = are
dangerously and  super-
Sstitiously hanging on to
harmful behavior. Such
superstition meeds to go.
Superstitions about black
cats and ladders may be
quite harmless, but don’t
hang on to those biggies that
try to slow down the exciting
evolving of your planet and
of yourself, by hanging on to
you from out of your past.

Hi |

You may soon pay up to $200.00 per
year in taxes on your dental plan.

ask hayden stewart

Freelance Counsellor Hayden Stewart may be reached at 261-6242
for appointments for individual, family or group counselling

Tired of trite sayings

QUESTION: I guess I don't
really have a question, but !
want to get a complaint off
my chest. I'd like to see a law
written into the books that
would make it a crime to
say, “No problem” and
“Have 2 nice day”. I was in a
restaurant the other day and
when I had ordered ham and
eggs, or something just as
uncomplicated as that, the
waitress said to me, “No pro-
blem!” During my stay under
her otherwise pleasant ser-
vices, she must have said “no
problem” at least four or five
times and then, of course, as
I was leaving she expressed
the hope that I would have a
nice day. So did another
waltress on my way out and

so did the cashier! I thought
they would blow my mind. It
almost freaks me out to have
those phrases thrown at me
morning, noon and night.
Anything can be done about
it?

STEWART: [m_ bothered
by, “I hear what you're say-
ing” and by “I know where
you're coming from.” When
you ask if there’s anything
can be done, I go back to
two of YOUR phrases (and
Tll bet you use them as much
as the “no problem” people)
and tell myself that one thing
I can do, for myself is choose
not to “blow my mind or
freak out,” just because a

HEALTH

IS A RIGHT — NOT A PRIVILEGE

TO BE TAXED

few people are continuing to
pass on to me a couple of
rather threadbare niceties.
They are not really bother-
ing you. It is simply that
YOU are deliberately
CHGOSING to let what they
say “freak you out.”

Tell you what - why not
practice for a week, saying,
at appropriate times, “No
problem” and “Have a nice
day” and see if you can give
yourself permission not to
fall back on “blow my mind”
and “it freaks me out.”

Give it a go. And have a
nice week.

Call Classified
986-6222 -

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It’s not too late, you can

STOP the Dental Plan TAX

Write to:

ALLAN MacEACHEN, Minister of Finance

BOB RAE, NDP Finance Critic

MICHAEL WILSON, Conservative Finance Critic
and

YOUR MEMBER OF PARLIAMENT

ALSO: Return this form and CU&C will take It to Ottawa

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(LU&C Health Services

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