Ex-Rhino dons Chickenskin

EMBRACE the
Chickenskin culture, fel-
low Canadians.

You have nothing to lose
but vour cultural contusion,

You of the disenfranchised
and wayward cultural identity
might abo gain seme much-
need brotherhood in these
umes of fided lavalties and
fraved belicts.

More important sul:
maybe share a tew laughs --
which, in this age of hysteria,
is tonic for the soul far toa
rarely imbibed.

Head Chickenskin man in
these parts is Richard Schaller.

The irreverent, the hippy-
dippy humorous, the Rhino
Party renegade.

The Troll.

Yes, that Richard.

He and his Rhinoceros
Party have been sorely missed
since the party pulled the plug
on its political high jinks and
lampoonery on May 1, 1985,

In noting the party’s pas
ing, vice- president Francois Yo
Gourd told the masses: “After
22 years in the muddied
trenches of front line politics,
we have preserved our dignity
and avoided the ultimate
humiliation of being elected
to public office.”

Too bad other parties did-
n’t abide by the high moral
principles of the Rhinos.
There might be fewer real
political jokes busily eroding
the foundations of democracy
and undermining the people’s
faith in the system co deliver
it.

Schaller first ran locally for
the Rhinos back in 1979, after
his name was dropped in the
mailbox of Montreal party
HQ.
He won 330 votes and
went on to three straight
defeats in subsequent elee-
tions. Schaller liked to call
himself a three-time loser.

One of his more inspired
political promises was to
“bring back the good old
English system of driving on
the lefthand side of the road,
but in the first year only buses
and trucks will drive on the
righthand side.”

With a few more zingers
like that the Troll might well
have gone on to real political
success.

As it is, he ventured down
other roads less travelled such

An Evening Of
Poetry &
Conversation

32 Books co.

Welcomes
Mona Fertig
and
| Karen X. Tuichinsky

Tuesday, November 17th,
7:00 pm

ripping
yarns

as an aborted atrempt in [993
to launch the Planet Three
Oasis cate atthe northeast
corner of Third and Lonsdale.

Burt Schaller. 55, is ventur-
ing back into public lite.

Good thing too, with the
sccialists firmly rooted in
Victoria, the fun in most fines
of work has about been
wrung dry.

Chickenskin has replaced
the rough thick Rhino variety
for Schaller. And be is busily
applying its enlightened
Chickenskin charter of solu-
tions to some of the more
pressing and depressing issues
of the day.

Membership in the
Chickenskin culture is open to
native born Canadians across
the land. Or to those who
have lived in Canada for 20
years and have thereby been
“nacified.”

Canadians without a tribe,
as it were.

Besides the commonality
of birth place, the unifving
factor of the Chickenskin
community is the skin itself.
Not the colour thereof, but
the existence thereof.

ft is a universal human
link. We all have a bit of it:

Raymond Salons

between thumb and toretin
ger, a litde on the Adam's
Apple. a linte at the np ot the
clbow,

According to the
Chickenskin manitesto,
Chickenskiniam is a “move
ment designed to unite all
agrevable individuals, wherev
er they may be on the planet,
into an ali native Operating
system for the custodianship
of Earth and its trusteeship for
future generations.”

Chickenskins are busy cul-
tivating a sense of community
where there currently is none,

And, says Schaller, provid-
ing a culture for Canada
“because we doit have one.
Whar we have now is multi-
cultural divide and conquer.”

Diffusion and fuzz. The
Canadian identity crisis from
Sea TO Set.

Chickenskin target for
todav is the BoC. treaty
process,

The group is contemplat-
ing a court challenge to not
only the Nisga’a treaty, which
establishes a racially exclusive
government in the province’ s
heartland, but also to the
right of other native bands to
exclude membership based on
race.

The Nisga’a treaty, cur-
rently being peddled to B.C.
taxpayers by the NDP with $5
million worth of taxpayers*
money even though those
same taxpayers have no say in
whether they want to buy the
treaty, is part of a treaty
process that the Chickenskin
culture views as “a grave injus-

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her and invites

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tice.”

And the treaties them-
selves?

According to the
Chickenskin Charter, they are
“pallities. The United Nations
Charter expressly forbids
negotiauons and treaties with
racist tibes or nations, The
aboriginal native tribes or First
Nation tribes are racist
because they restrict member:
ship to race and blood rela-
tionships.”

Tribal exclusivity is not the
Chickenskin way,

Schaller says Chickenskin
membership already includes
members of native Indian
bands who have ditficulty
accepting the tribal restrictions
of their bandy’ membership.

And pockets of the move-
ment have taken root avross
the land. There are Black
Chickenskins in Nova Scotia,
Frog’s Legs Chickenskins in
Quebeo and Free Range
Chickenskins cunning without
borders. But there is much
work to be done to spread the
Chickenskin word.

Schaller is currently estab-
lishing an Internet website for
his Chickenskin Native
Network — what he calls a
giant crystal for the receipt
and dissemination of the

See Troll page 9

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Sunday, November 15. 1998 - North Shore News — 7

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