28 - Wednesday, August 17 — North Shore News LIFESTYLES A BROTHEL’ Q. | HAD a virtually sexless marriage for 20 years; now I am out of it. Recently ] met a man I felt f could try sex again with. That was a big thing for me to do after all those years. This man has a disturbing habit of leaving immediately after he has climaxed. Up and out of the house. To leave so abruptly after such intimacy (he says I am very exciting) seems all wrong. What kind of person would do that? When I mentioned to him that I would like him to stay near me after sex, he jokingly suggested that [ consult Dr. Ruth. A. Seriously, I suggest that you find another man. This one may be excited by you, but his behavior is more suited to a brothel. Of course, 2 woman wants the man to be close to her after lovemaking — during what is called the resolution period, when body, mind and feel- ings are returning from high ex- citement to tranquillity. 1 often hear complaints like yours, but usually it is because the man falls asleep after climaxing — not that he actually gets up and goes out the door. Maybe you could try refusing to have sex with him until he agrees to mend his ways, and then pay close attention to how well he lives up to the agreement. | suspect he would treat that like a joke, too. Don’t get into a habit of putting up with his ways. Q. I thought that the latest belief was that there is only one kind of orgasm, centered around the clitoris. Why is it, then, that while dreaming I can have an orgasm stimulated by the dream only, feel- ing very different, more vaginally centered? Was Freud right after all? A. No. In recent times we have been able to observe the physiological changes taking place during orgasms, and everything shows that when there is a female orgasm, the clitoris is involved. There are different perceptions of orgasm. Sometimes women experi- ence contractions and sensations deep inside — the so-called vaginal Locals win lottery SEVERAL NORTH Shore resi- dents were among the 100, 100- dollar prize winners recently drawn in the Seniors’ Lottery. North Vancouver winners were Dennis Allison, Anne Bonner, George P, Hallinan, Margaret Kel- ly, J. Marston and Bob Torris. The West Vancouver winner was William John Richmond. Money generated from the lot- tery is used to fund seniors’ pro- jects throughout B.C. To date, the lottery has paid out $2 million shared by 268 seniors’ groups. The next tottery will be drawn in December. Eagles need used items DO YOU have any discarded items cluttering up your garage or attic? The North Vancouver Fraternal Order of Eagles is currently look- ing for donations of used items to sell at its giant charity auction planned for Saturday, Sept. 24. Call 988-6670 to arrange pick up of any donations or for further in- formation. Proceeds from the auc- tion will go to support the many charities on the North Shore to which the Eagles contribute. orgasms of Freud. But these, too, involved the clitoris, even when arousal and climax are produced without conscious physical stimu- lation. Some women can bring themselves to orgasm while daydreaming, and some can do this during the dreams of slumber. But we have no reason to return to Freud’s physiological misconcep- tions. And certainly not to his distinction between mature and immature females, which has caused so much unnecessary shame and worry to innocent women. Q. I am 19 and don’t really know much about birth control pills. Some friends of mine have staried taking them and have put on weight. [ am five feet four in- ches and weigh 115. Would I gain weight if I started on the pill? A. ff f were to advise you on this, | would be way out of line. And so would you, if you were to start taking the pill without con- sulting a doctor. Not all women using birth control pills are getting fat because of them. Under a doc- tor’s guidance you could try the pill he prescribes and watch your weight. Naturally, what you eat and how much you exercise would affect your weight, so you have to be HOT PRICES ON TOWELS & BAT A feeteerast vA careful about that. If there is any disturbing weight gain, or any other bodily change, you should discuss it with your doctor, who Dr. Ruth Ruth Westheimer might decide on another pill or another means of contraception. Don’t rely on guesswork. Q. Your advice to the woman whose boyfriend looks at other women when they are out together seemed OK zs far as it went. You said it was natural and didn’t mean he was unfaithful or wishing to be so, so if she had no other com- plaints she might as well ignore it. Well, that seems fine except that some women can’t stand it. And others, like me, have men who don’t just look — they stare, ogte and leer, drawing as much atten- tion to him and me as the face and “30% figure passing by. I am embarrass- ed because it makes him look like an oaf and me, an oaf's wife. And { hate it for the sake of the woman he is looking at. [ am not jealous, because my husband is a good man in most ways, and Iam not insecure about myself. I get my share of gazes and glances from passing men. Th: glances I don’t mind; gazes are stili impertinent — { don’t care how long ago Queen Victoria died. Children are taught not to stare because it’s rude. 1 wish young males weren't given the idea that it’s a joke to ogle, whistle and carry on like fools. Sometimes I am walking with my husband and telling him a story or asking s question and suddenly i realize I am talking to myself. He is usually looking at another woman, hearing nothing I have said. This is an unflattering posi- tien in which to find oneself. Your comments would be appreciated. A. The last word on this subject will never be spoken. You have some good points and the best I can do jis print your own com- ments. Personally, I am not of- fended when a man tells me “There’s a pretty girl,’ but I would not like it if he acted like an idiot. Even before | was Dr. Ruth, OF F— ALL MERCHANDISE SHOES, VEILS, DRESSES, UNIFORMS, HATS, HOSIERY, LINGERIE, ETC. EXCLUDING BRIDAL SERVICES — SALE ENDS AUG, 23/88 C he Drfoet luting : 424 West water ik AS tte Mees 5 ae ne a 4 Gath Sheet 16th St, N. Van. 985-0555 § H RUGS IN 30 GORGEOUS COLOURS! TOWELS Dont iss our allractive acdudtds ang ember Iyned toeels $140 97 satlfe et 3D%e oft! 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Hew can I find out if he has had a change of heart? I am crazy about him and don’t want to press him on this, A. [ think he meant what he said three months ago or he would have told you. Such an honest guy would not hold back if his feelings for you had grown stronger. If he tires of you or gets interested in someone else, he js likeiy to be honest about that. I ustally advise “No pressure,’’? but in this case you can lose no more than this relationship which is less to him than it is to you. By sticking with it you may be losing a chance at a more committed relationship with someone else. SUM CLEANING ELECTROLUX FILTER QUEEN COMPACT KIRBY ¢ Hoover « Panasonic ¢ Eureka © Baycrest e Viking