C2 - Wednesday. December S, 1984 - North Shore News Share the burden of family gatherings EAR MISS MANNERS: Whenever an dc- quaintanece did not return an ainvitanion for a social gathering more than twice, I telt perfectly, correct in not issuing further invitations. On occasion, this has resulted in a termination of the relaionship, presumably due to lack of interest or effort required to maintain it However, what does one do when the persons rnvolyed are family members? Ihave openly expressed to my adult brothers and sisters that | feel overburdened as the hostess for every tamuils dinner, including Thanskgiy ing, Mother's Day, Bather’s Dav. oecte pon suggesting thal we meet at a restaurant, Pam told. "We can't attord i” When |} request that so meone else host the dinner. | hear, oO We don't hase time” on Our house ws too expen sively turnished tao have children over. or Our house is foo small 7! These tamily members you poted, thas casier on the emotions to drop nevlecttul acquaimtanees than relatives An advantage of blood ties that you may spell out to your felations that should be More subtly Man teclings conveyed to others Miss miss manners by Judith Martin claim that Keeping the family close is important, and hase even pone as tar as to invite themselves over to our home to “keep ino touch“ } am torn between my emouonal feelings of longing for togetherness with my tamily. and my resenttul feelings torr being the sole hostess tor tamtly events GENTER READER Miss Manners can well understand the temptation vou must teel down the famalys place Newel she urges vou mot to to close gathering theless, do so There are ditterences ween ftamuly bet and trends Ns Etiquette expert joins the News MISS MANNERS. (aka Judith Martin), has a storehouse of information on etiquette why She sOutdl And it's no wonder was introduced ta the Scene dat ath carly where her the United groundwork age work al laid the proper father's Nations for the do's and dons Her background COontiued to build ar Wellestes © ollege when wartitip on tables she learned (that patting a bevas | oto table without oan underliner is a crime midway between Commnp oom after | am and pPlagianison And ter fuether round out ber knowledge of etiquette an cathy assipminesnt ty T hie Woashiopton Past bad ter on the embassy party beat atten ding endless functions In November 1978) l mited feature Syndicate began syn dication of her “Miss Man nees Column Three times a weck “Mass Manners | gives answers fo dad realm of questions on what to do or Sayin every conceivable social situation, always ad ding a touch of humor Martin graduated trom Wellesley College an 1¥sy with oa Hachelor oof Arts degree oo binglat tb otlowsny giaduation she pounced Phe Washington Post a jyobo she has been at foe the tase 24 yearns: Much of that time was vypoont Cn ee U thre Washington elite NOC tre New Year’ s RESERVE NOW! IFOR A GALA *2 Balhtoom, - 2 Orchestras * Deluxe Smorgasbord of the Yeas *Hats Notsomoko-s « Streamers «Door Prices ON, $40 OO per, . MAKE VP YOUR PARTY NOW: VCANYON GARDENS SBE YC mpreheere, Faas AML) Pree Ree@wt 16 Desagreranin Be tage POW MAESE WV ATIOINN AT 988-6101 ners knows that there are those nowadays who can't Sayan oindipnant “ob xcuse me' to strangers who shove them on the bus, but preter, “bh wonder af vou consider how it makes me feel when vou treat me ttke that.” but A NAAA I'S39ge0 tsusm TIN MOOQE tL she belleves in saving revela- trons of the heart for tntimates Tradition ois) commonly cited 4s oa reuson for one member of a family’s dome all the work. It may even be that these people have some sort oof warm feeling that holidays ought to be at your house because that they have been Miss) Manners consider Chis ceptable, mind vou She only advises you, when vou en counter wt, to remember that your family may consider if right, and even vapuels that tering tO you, (oO vather at your house. It as therefore a pertectly acceptable family sentiment to savy. “You're always welcome here, but | yust can't go on doing all the work Eather we move around tor holidays, of we have at here, and the rest of sou take turns bringing the food and clean Ing up ~ one’s is where does not FeasONINR ae INGLIS DELUXE 2s HER R& DRYER MAGIC CHEF DISHWASHER NOW ONLY Furniture & Appliances UNDER THE BRIGHT YELLOW AWNING ¢ \ i Weekly Specials 5 for 2°° Poinsettia 4°, 1°° Potmum = 4p 1° Sorry — no delivery on these ttems WEST VAN FLORIST 1821 Marine Drive, West Vancouver ——' Carnations Mecrcige tard 922-4171 922-3968 On the North Shore since 1955 FURNITURE & APPLIANCES EST DEAL IN TOWN | £ 4 CITIZEN VHS — vcr ane —— “eS VIDEO CASS WITH REMOTE CO 8 nr Capacity, 14 day ti mer $aggeey NOW ONLY 144A CITIZEN of 14” COLOR Ty Py H 2% Fx, FSe@! TISeer re gay t on eit. ae rape reece Sees tt ths £ ze MAS TE ree ARLD 1590 MARINE DRIVE, NORTH VANCOUVER 987-2251 OPEN SEVEN DAYS A WEEK SUNDAY 12 4