get this straight by Doug Collins wi 's Nuremberg! IS GOD a non-smoker? We don’t really know, and some of us may never find out. But the ban-the-weed movement in West Van acts as though it is plugged in to The Word, and even Barry Mathers didn’t go that far. Barry was the funniest col- ummnist these parts have ever known. For years his Walter Matthau, whisky-colored features decorated the old Sun tower, and to look at him was to laugh. But then he went to pieces. Stopped drinking. Stopped smoking. Became a_ politi- cian. Which is pretty depress- ing, really. But he would have thought the West Van story a joke. No rational be- ing, after all, could possibly want to hound sin the way our local loonies do. It’s true that Dave Finlay backed off a bit on Monday night, and is now prepared to give the restaurant owners a breather. But no one should be deceived. What he’d really like to do is throw ali smokers into the pokey. If he gets his way, he’ll still have the cops lurking around food queues and bank counters, sniffing the air, when they should be out catching burglars. What’s gone wrong with West Van? It used to be a pretty sensible place. Now, I'm told, it has sunk to employing social planners, one of whom helped to com- pile the original report on the smoking menance in con- junction with the gregarious Finlay. Barbara Reid by name. And rumor has it that she’s taken off to California. Good. Remind me to send tober 17, 1984. Even as this silly by-law now stands, it is reputed to be the most comprehensive one of its kind in B.C., being modelled after laws in Regina and Toronto. But is that anything to boast about? Regina is populated, for the most part, by fun-hating socialists, and Toronto is full of foreigners and human rights crazies. Even Burnaby hasn’t gone this far, and Lord knows it has more than its share of bug-eyed bureau- crats and lefties. Actualfy; I refuse to believe there’s any truth to these stories about West Van wanting to throw a_ wet blanket over smokers, just like some English Puritans wanted to when Sir Walter Raleigh went back to England puffing a pipe. I stick by my belief that West Van is a civilized place, and that no one really wants to drive smokers out of banks, food queues, churches, and public lavatories, if any. Ob- viously, the whole thing is a hoax, and the North Shore News has been making this stuff up HEAD TAX? There is, definite loose in smokers however, a totalitanian trend the land, and have become a persecuted minority. Pretty it. The bar sinister, there for purposes of intimidation. And that dreadful woman Monique Begin, the so-called minister of health (who weighs far more than any healthy woman should) wants to put another 30 cents tax on cigs. Well, as I always say, there’s nothing worse than a reformed drunk, and Begin used to inhale three- and-a-half packs a day. But to get back to Finlay for a moment. Was the guy elected, or did someone ap- point him? You are probably convinc- ed by now that Collins is a big puffer, and that his lungs are black from _ over- indulgence, Well, I have news for you. I’m pure. Have never smoked. But I feel sorry for the poor devils that do. Despised and rejected of men, they are being made to feel like a lot of war criminals who somehow escaped the judgment at Nuremberg. However, | am thinking of taking to the weed so that | can go and blow smoke in the faces of the abolitionists at City Hall. Does God smoke? Prove to me that he doesn’t. WALL TILE CERAMIC TILE specials FROM PAGE 1 Known affectionately as ‘“‘Jimmy’’ to colleagues, friends and admirers throughout the business and political world, he was first elected to the Commons as Liberal-MP for North Van- couver in 1940 while a flight lieutenant in the Royal Cana- dian Air Force. After serving during World War Two in the Middle East and winding up as a squadron leader, he returned to federal politics in 1945 and was appointed fisheries minister seven years later in the 1952 cabinet of Louis St. Laurent. ‘Later, he was widely regarded as a future leader of the Liberal Party, but chose instead to support Lester Pearson. He held his seat un- til 1958 when he was defeated during the landslide victory of John Diefenbaker’s Tories in that year and retired from active politics. A decade later, incidental- ly, he supported John Turner for the party leadership ahead of Pierre Trudeau — who, within three years, was to marry Sinclair’s daughter Margaret. Following his career in Parliament Sinclair devoted himself to his business in- terests and became recogniz- ed as one of B.C.’s top in- dustralists — from 1970 on- ward as deputy chairman of Saturday rites for ‘Jimmy’ Sinclair Canada Cement Lafarge Ltd. With a seat on the boards of companies whose assets totalled. around $15 billion (among them the Bank of Montreal, Sun Life, Alcan, Cominco, Columbia Cellulose and Canadian In- dustries Ltd.) he was reputed to be one of the 10 most in- fluential business leaders in Vancouver. Born in Banff, Scotland, in 1908, and educated at Van- couver Technical School and UBC, he was chosen as B.C.’s Rhodes Scholar to Ox- ford University in 1928. Late last year Public Works Canada honored him by bestowing the name Sinclair Centre on a downtown Vancouver block containing four heritage buildings that are presently being restored. During an expedition to the Soviet Union in 1955, while minister of fisheries, he suffered a bad back injury when stairs collapsed during a visit to a drydock and he continued to have pain for the remainder of his life. In more recent years he under- went heart surgery and had a stroke. Mr. Sinclair is survived by his wife of 43 years, Doris Here’s Value For You Lynn Valley One Hour Martinizing introduces Kathleen and by five daughters: Heather, Janet, Rosalind, Margaret and Betsy. A memorial service con- ducted by Ref. Ed Wailace is scheduled for 3 p.m. Satur- day, February 11, at St. Stephen’s Anglican Church, West Vancouver. At press time the atten- dance of Prime Minister Trudeau was still uncon- firmed. ig a 2. Facials Manicures Pedicures Body Massage Waxing: Face/Body Eyebrow & Eyelash tinting. BELLISIMA 138 E. 14th 980-8701 them a warning. soon, Finlay or someone like Pattern Only (ox6") : -69sq.tt. Free Pick-up and Delivery EVEN BURNABY him will want to send them Fil-Hispano (4 %4"'x4 %"’) -89sq.ft. inN.V a off to camps in the interior, Hee * r | | or charge them head-tax for Inalco-white/Pattem (6°"x6") $1.11sq.#t. n ancouve atcanuile, Finlay re: the prviege of walking the Hl Somigiazed Luce (6"x6") $1. 35squt. starting March 1 anyway? 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