QUESTION: Just recently
I've caught on to the crazy
fact that even while I have
the feeling that I love
everybody, there is no-one
reason that I really love. It
sounds like I'm putting you
on, but J am serious.

I used to hate everybody.

at least I thought I

Although I know now. hat I I
really had a kindof love for
niy mother and sister, and
almost for my dad too. I
didn’t want them to know it
though. I left home a couple
of years ago and have been
living around with friends.
They live a strange sort of
life, but I can honestly say
now that I don’t hate
anymore. I don’t see any
hate in me Hght now. No,
that's not quite right. I don't
love more individual people,
it's more like I love
humanity. That part of my
life is OK, there’s no kick
there. But I'm really
bothered because I still don't
love any one person. The
way I came to see this & I'm
living with a girl now and we
get along very well. It’s just
great. But a few days ago she
told me right out that she
wanted to make out with
some other guy..I told her to

schools.

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the details Michael ( oyle

sure, gc ahead. I've got no
ties on you. But you know, I
got the feeling she was a
little _sad over my cool at-
titude. Then I realized I was
feeling down about it too.
I’ve been searching my head
this week, ['m the guy that

_toves everybody, but I guess

1 don't love Sonya (not her
real name) or I wouldn't act
so cool. If don't love
Sonya, there's nobody I!
love. I can't figure me out.
What do you say?

STEWART: You have some
good things going for you
and I am hoping you'll give
your attention to them. Your
flexibility is to your ad-
vantage. You've been doing
some changing in the past
couple of years and you
recognize the changes. Some
of them you like, and others,
you don’t. Also, you have a
hunger. There are some
things you want. You want
to do some improving. For
example, certain aspects of
your relationship with Sonya
displease you and you want
to do something to change
them. That’s good. Another
good thing is the way you
have sensed that love is a

’ very.important matter. And,

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loves everybo:

finally, you are not satisfied
with not loving real live
persons.

So what's ahead for you?

Well, you have a ‘beautiful
profound theory about
loving everyone. That's
refreshing and. immeasurably
worthwhile. It is also pure
hog-wash until you learn to
give love to-one person and
then another and another.
It will be exciting for you to
equip your theory with spirit
and muscles and life. You'll
need to take risks, and
become more vulnerable.
You'll need to give yourself
and learn to accept another
without judging. In short,
you'll need to LET yourself
love. It’s an experience for a
real man. It will be a great
trip and you seem ready to
let yourself experience it.
Let go!

y>
F

QUESTION: It doesn’t seem
to bother me much ff a
person turns up liste for a
date or an appointment. I
just sort of go along with it
and never say anything.

There may be some’ good —

reason. But if a person is late
three or four times, or
almost always, then I really
burn, I get very angry and
really upset. In fact, it drives
me batty. What can I do
about a creep like that? —

STEWART: Remember
there STILL may be a good
reason. But, if you are upset
that much, you'd better do
something about it. Why not
tell him that when a person is
nearly always late, you find
that you don’t wait very well
and it bothers you so much
that you have decided not to

wait anymore. Then don’t!!

But there is also your
OWN opportunity to do a
little bit of changing. Your
burning at being stood up is
because you have a specific
expectation for that person
to turn up at exactly the time
specified. Why not learn to
give up having specific
expectations? You could get
ready on time, but give
yourself something to do
while you are waiting. Do

ENJOY

CS - Wednesday, July 8, 1981 - North Shore News

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