m the fe BEING EVER eager to bring you all the news that’s fit to print, and somc that’s not, your agent had a dream of an interview with Premier Gung Hei Fat Choi, some- times known as Glen Clark. Our meeting took place in secret, Premier Gung being a shy sort of chap. “Mr, Gung, thank you for talk- ing to me. ] am always interested in getting down to business so I was wondering whether I might get a few shares in your now-famous International Power Corporation.” Gung: “I'd love to, Doug, because I know you're doing your best to get David Schreck re-elect- ed, But from all reports it appears that the IPC is strictly for insiders. You are a good fellow but you are hardly one of us. Had you been one, you might have been named to run Hydro yourself, But charity begins at home.” Me: “You mean like that bingo thing over in Nanaimo.” Gung: “You ate very quick on the uptake. How about joining the ” | Me: “T'll think about it. . Especially if i can find a tax haven, like those guys who got in early on the Cayman Islands deal, the lucky stiffs. But first, how about giving me a few details on how socialism works?” Gung: “Shoot.” Me: “Well, it does seem that the most important thing is to get in at the top. Working one’s way up from the bottom seems to be strict- ty for bank presidents and such- like.” ‘ Gung: “It helps. It also helps to” municipal altairs THE FOLLOWING is a brief. sum- mary of sgendas’ for the North Shore. municipalities, school dis- tricts, and the health board. | North Vancouver — City ’ Council and North Vancouver District. Councli' have ‘cancelled their regularly. scheduled weekly - meetings due to the North Shore “Winter Games, The next meeting : for both will be Monday, March 4. West Vancouver City Council: Monday, Feb. 26, 7:45 p.m. items: ‘tequest for notice; bylaw exemp- tion; Horseshoe Bay ‘overflow parking; community’ day; develop- . ment variance permit applications; rescheduling .of the Official Community Pian public hearing. Winning Interiors By Mas” ASHTON HOUSE f= INTERIORDESIGNGROUP Phone/Fax (604) 325-9155 NO Mow PROBLEMS Read Home & Garden and you could have no mow problems! D Collins on the other hand have a few friends who know what’s going on. Those rotters in the Opposition think we have an Old Boys Network. But what we have is a New Boys Network. Much more democratic.” Me: (Laughing) “Of course! Why didn't I think of that before? New boys were always the hungri- est when I went to school. Always in the tuck shop, nibbling away, the starving little devils.” Gung: “Exactly, Necessity is the mother of invention.” Me: “There’s one thing that puz- zles me, though. Your good friend John Laxton was quoted as saying that ‘everybody’ knew his three daughters had invested in the Hydro company. But I didn’t. In fact, I didn’t even know the IPC existed,” Gung: “More fool you. Besides, .you're not everybody. You're nobody. No hard feelings, I hope.” Me: “Not at all. I’m used to it. ‘But talking about Mr. Laxton, 1 understand that he’s a rich man and now he says he’s going to buy 200,000 shares in IPC, not having North Vancouver School District 44: next meeting is sched- uled for Tuesday, March 12. West Vancouver School District 45: Monday, Feb. 26, 7 p.m. Agenda: Students, Technology and Curriculum — Se aitaommmatae muy had any himself before. They're just lying around waiting for some- one to pick them up, he says.” Gung: “What about it? He has paid his debt to society. § fired him.” Me: “But should socialists be buying shares at all? Isn't it against their principles? Isn‘t it something that only those big guys in the banks who grind the faces of the poor do?” Gung: “Look at it this way. The more money socialists have, the better off we all become and the more they can give to welfare.” Me: “I suppose so, especially if it comes from a tax haven.” Gung: “Only the other day I saw a bunch of our guys buying expen- sive cars. [t all helps business and they do have to pay GST and PST and all that. As I said when all this so-called scandal started, it’s all a matter of judgment.” Me: “One thing I should men- tion, if you don’t mind. Bill Vander Zalm got into a lot of trouble at Fantasy Gardens over something called conflict of interest.” Gung: “That was quite different. He was a Socred acting on his own. With us, it’s all in the family, if you know what I mean.” Me: “I think I do. Anyway, con- gratulations on becoming premier. You must feel good about it. And I very much enjoyed your swearing in on Thursday. By the way, were those former Hydro chiefs there?” Gung: “Can't say thatI saw them. But there was a lot of swear- ing going on.” Me: “Thanks for this interview.” Gung: “Any time, Doug. Just don"t let the rest of the media know we had this little talk.” Me: “Your secret is safe with me. It’s the Year of the Rat.” Chartwell Elementary School: Secondary Challenge: Process for Developing Shared Decision Making. North Shore Board of Health: Next meeting will be held Thursday, March 14. DERE A. CAVE Trial Lawyer Get the settlement #508, Kapilano 100 Building 100 Park Royal, West Van. you deserve. 925-7880 Specializing in Reading, Study & Tutoring Is your child getting the quality of education he or she needs or will they even make the grade? 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