42 - Wednesday, Octobe 3, 1990 - North Shore News

Q. | AM in my first sex-
ual relationship with a
man. I remained a virgin
until EF was 22, and I am
still learning about sex.

Does it have to be over when
aman has an orgasm? | ex-
pected him to continue making
love ufier his orgasm, but he
doesnt. He doesn't fall asleep.
but he doesn’t do anything
other than hold my hand and
talk to me.

Is it physically impossible for
men to keep making love at
this point? Or, is he just not
that interested in making bove
(o me for very long? Ef there is
something FE can do to prolong
sex, I want to do it. Please
help!

A. You can do one simple
thing to prolong lovemaking:
Tell him you need and want
more caressing, fondling and
kissing after his orgasm.

Ir sounds like you are not
having an orgasm. If that is the
case, show him what you need
to reach orgasm. He may not
realize that you aren’t satisfied
or may not even know how to
pleasure you.

tt is true that a man cannot
sustain intercourse after his
orgasm. He has a ‘‘refractory
period,’? an amount of time
before he can become erect
again. The duration of that
period varies with men, depen-
ding on age and other factors.

But the rest of his body is
still functioning during the
refractory period. Ask him to
put the other parts to work for
your benefit.

Q. Please tell me what magic
wards to say to my daughter to
stop her from having sex with
the men she dates. She thinks
because she earns a good living
she knows everything. ! want
her to get marricd some day
and I don't see how this will
happen if she wis men have sex
before marriage.

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Why doesn’t she understand
a woman is history as soon as
she gives him what he wants?
Teach me how to fell her to say
no. She is a beautiful woman. |
hate to see her ruin her chances
for making a good marriage
some day.

A. If [ knew magic words
for getting grown children to
do what their parents want, I
wouldn't use them! Your
daughter is an adult who is
taking care of herself. She
makes her own decisions. All
you can do is give advice when
asked, then shut up.

Has she even asked you for
advice? 1 am guessing she
hasn’t. Don't alienate her by
lecturing her about her sexual
behavior. You will both be
happier and get along better if
she doesn’t tell you about her
sex life and you don’t offer her
any advice on hew to run it.

What you believe about
men’s attitudes toward their
sexual partners is not necessari-
ly true today. Many young
woman have sex with ther
partners without becoming
‘Shistory.”” Some become
brides. Maybe your daughter
hasn’t married yet because she
doesn’t want to.

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Learn how to

SOME EXCITING new courses are part of this fall's
lineup of family life education courses being offered
by North Shore Family Services Society (NSFSS).

Forming Friendships is based on a UBC research
project. Carolyn Uhrich, instructor, says *tpeople’s
sense of well-being is related to the size and quality
of their support system. The course will help you to
initiate conversation, create social opportunities and
manage difficult situations.“’ The cost is $36 for six
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If you are the one out of every seven women who
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Conflict Resolution, also taught by Nakhla. will
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healthy manner — be it at home or in the workplace.
The course costs $15 and is being offered on two
Wednesday evenings starting Oct. 17.

Navigating Life's Changes will be taught by Lou
Moreau four Tuesday evenings starting Nov. 6 ata
cost of $26.

Family life education courses are co-sponsored by
North Shore Continuing Education.

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