4 - Sunday, January 6, 1991 - North Shore News ‘Teddy Bear’s picnic goes bad THE FIRST thing I noticed that was odd about the old room my wife and I were staying in was that there were antique toys sitting on shelves, and one of the toys, a kind of teddy bear, was wiggling its nose. Couldn’t be. I decided } must be hallucinating and looked away. But when I inevitably looked back, its tiny paws were moving too. My heart began to pound. I didn’t want to tell my wife about this because it would alarm her. She’d probably insist on call- ing a doctor or at least taking me to aclinic. Instead, I slowly dug my videocamera out of its case and aimed it at the bear. As I was doing this, I noticed that other peculiar things were happening. The other antique toys were waving their hands, peddling little bicycles, rolling their eves, grinning. Was I going insane? Well, the videocamera wouldn't lie. Either this stuff would show up on the tape or it wouldn't. Ef it did... It did. Or at least it was there in the viewfinder. So | wasn’t insane. But this sort of thing can’t hap- pen, so maybe the world was go- ing crazy or something. Of course, | could be imagining what I was seeing in the viewfinder too. The awful part about this experience was that it felt undeniably real. {t was like being caught in a vice in which your consciousness couldn't budge, let alone escape. It was then that John Lennon walked into the room. It was definitely him. There was no doubt about it at all. I got him on videotape too, even though I knew perfectly well that he was dead. With toys now rapidly growing larger, as well as wiggling their fingers and paws, there were no rules any longer. In fact, the toys, transformed into stiff, clumsy beings, were climbing down from their shelves and gathering around a table ! hadn't noticed before. My wife was taking this pretty well, even though | could tell by the way she was hanging on to my hand that she was as full of rising terror as I was. Only the presence of John Lennon gave me any hope of getting out of this one without it turning really ugly. But Lennon wasn't saying any- thing. He was just watching. My videocamera, meanwhile, began to change into a very old- style camera, an early-century Pathe motion picture camera, and it suddenly wasn’t working very well. The battery had become separated from the rest of the machine by a crust of yellowish powder that I started desperately trying to scrape out. Without the camera, there was no way of recording what was go- ing on, and without a record of events, they would get out of con- trol. The original teddy bear had metamorphosed into someone | vaguely recognized but couldn't place. There was something very sinister about him, and likewise about the other ‘“‘toys,"’ ail of which were people now too. Only they were costumed in medieval ourfits and they had quite demonic eyes that were fixed Bob Hunter STRICTLY PERSONAL mainly on my poor wife. _ She cringed aguinst me, but the worst part of all was that [ knew there would be little | could do to save her. The former teddy bear which had turned into a vaguely famil- iar, sinister figure had picked up a cane and was Jeading us around a corner into another room where there was a cage. And in the cage was a truly demented creature, a snarling, drooling man with long filthy hair, a face a bit like the Freddy character in the Nightmare on Elm Street movies. He was trying to get out. « In a panic, 1 urged the sinister fellow with the cane to be careful, but despite my protests, he was using the stick to bend the bars apart so the prisoner could get free. As he clambered through the bars, we all retreated to the first room. He shambled after us, his whole attention fixed on my wife. 1 appealed wildly to John Lennon to intervene, but he remained calm, unconcerned. The beast from the cage was far too powerful for me to resist. He grabbed my wife, whose screams were stifled as she immediately began to turn into a wooden mannikin with brightly painted cheeks. He began to stretch her neck, as though trying to rip off her head, but instead of breaking, her neck merely grew longer. At that point. the madman began to change too. His features softened. His shaggy mane of hair grew white. He changed into a debonaire older man wearing a smoking jacket with a cravat. My wife changed back into herself. In fact, she now seemed radiant. John Lennon smiled knowingly. One by one, the other men Started changing back into the toys they had been at the beginning. My videocamera resumed its normal shape. We wandered outside, my wife hugging me happily, with the debonaire older fellow strolling casually along beside us. John Lennon told a few pleasant jokes, then wandered off by himself. We waved goodbye, feeling giddy with relief that not only was the ordeal over, we had emerged somehow more enlightened, more aware. And then I awoke, cold with sweat, shaken. [ started to tell my wife about the dream, but as soon as f men- tioned the part about the teddy bear coming to life, she announe- ed she didn’t want to hear any more, so J decided to write it down in the hope of puzzling out its meaning later. CANADIANS ARE SPEED SKATERS INTERESTING. 1's Western Canada’s best motor INTRIGUING. Great seminars and videos at Motorcycle Theatre featuring stuntman Bob Duffy and other celebrities. IMPRESSIVE. Great pre-season buys on motorcycles and accessories. ‘Motor Vehicle Injury Claims Free initial consultation Percentage fees or hourly rates 687-0411 Call Stephen Frame, Loreen Williams or Jim Graham HARPER. GREY. EASTON & COMPANY fl law firm establivhed in 1907 " TO EXHILARATION IM ONE SHOW EXCITING. 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