Friday, June 5, 1992 - North Shore News - 7

Knees in the 90s: The miracle of schlogging

PVE INVENTED a new
sport. And like ali great in-
ventions, necéssity was truly
its mother.

Dave
Jenneson

BETWEEN THE BRIDGES

‘It began when I realized the
recession was not over. Work was
slow coming in and the idleness
was murderous. I needed to vent
my stress, so I decided to start
Jogging again.

. I have a romantic attachment to
Jogging. ;

In the seventh grade at
Sutherland school, 1 was very fat
and was forced to run and came
last in my class.

I grew six inches that year and
in doing so became skinny, so by
the end of the year I came first.
What a fine, guiding metaphor for
the rest of one’s life.

Since then I’ve had a history of
jogging. Off and on. It ended six
years ago when I blew out the
mainspring of my left knee — the
cartoid something-or-other —
and was forced to retire.

Still and all, jogging is free, and
six years is time enough for any
bedy part to heal, so off I went.
Down to the track. Did my stret-
ching, got up to. speed and you
couldn’t see me for dust. I’m 43
years old and about 230 ibs., but
it, was good to be in the Adidas
again — once again at Sutherland.

It wasn’t until a white haired
old man whipped by me at 70 —
that was his age, not his mph —
that 1 began to suspect 1 was
engaged in some new form of

sport.
The next night some show-off
shot past me twice during my first

lap. That confirmed I definitely
wasn't jogging any more.

I estimated my speed to b= ap-
proximately .03 mph. Yet I wasn’t
walking either. It had to be some-
thing new.

Shliogging.

Shlogging has the forward-
looking, streamlined stance of the
long distance runner without the
bother of speed. Rather than
whipping a sports car out for a
spin, it’s more ia the nature of
taking a paving machine for a few
turns around the track.

Shlogging is as slow as a human
being can. jog without actually
becoming immobile — a rhythmic,
friendly shamble.

When comparative speed trials
are done, which I’m sure they will
be when shlogging catches on, it
will turn out that some people can
walk faster than others can shlog.

It doesn’t matter. Everyone
wrecked their knees jogging dur-
ing the look-at-me 1980s. Now in
the my-knees-hurt 1990s we’re
toid it’s fashionable to walk.

Yet secretly, no one wants to
walk unless they have a destina-
tion. Everybody knows that only
crazy people walk aimlessly. And
then there’s that other kind of
walking that looks like someone
with a frozen fish up their yahoo-
ty being chased by a swarm of

Walking seems like you wish
you could run but can’t because
you’ve succumbed to age.

Shlogging carries none of that
stigma. It’s more heroic. It feels
like you’re running but can actu-
ally be slower than walking, so
corabines the best elements of
both.

First, it can only be done
around a flat track, because any
incline could send a shlogger into
reverse. So, no hills.

As a shiogger, slowly orbiting
the track like Jupiter, 1 get to see
entire sporting events. Soccer,
softball, track and field. It's quite
absorbing.

Shlog and the world shlogs with
you. Run and you run alone.

No one can criticize your shlog-
ging style because no one knows
what you're doing. Shlogging is
the non-judgmental spoct.

Joggers are always glancing in
agony at stopwatches, but the
dimension of time docs not exist
in shlogging. §f there are shlogg-

ing clubs established in the future,
as J’m sure there will be, the cri-
terion for membership might well
be one’s inability to break the
20-minute mile.

Now I go often.

Like all natural athletes, ! in-
stinctively shlog counter-clockwise
around the track. Every time ! go
there’s a stout, butty lady sternly
waiking a smatl dog around the
track at a brisk pace, her eyes
flicking down to a stopwatch.

For some reason she walks
clockwise, so we're continually
meeting each other head on, from
opposite directions.

There is one final advantage.

I’ve found that the sweet smell-
ing, grassy field, surrounded by
trees, is a glorious, sensory break
from my troubles. No pressure to
beat the clock. Just drift round
and round and smell the daisies
and, amazingly, afterward you
bask in that same beautific glow,
just as if you'd been running.

The shlogger’s high. Truly a
moment in paradise.

Reconsider NVD seawalk idea

Dear Editor:

I am becoming more and more
convinced that we need a com-
munity-wide discussion on the
future of the foreshore lands in
the District of North Vancouver
and that such discussions must in-
clude a possible scawalk.

The idea of a seawalk arose
many years ago when the
municipality had to challenge
private owners in the Deep Cove
area who had built structures on
foreshore lands belonging to the

Many major cities in the world,
including those in Canada, either
have or are in the process of ac-
quiring all rights adjoining the sea
for the benefit of the general
public,

Most recently, the idea of a
seawalk was raised by a citizens
committee of the District of North
Vancouver, 2s part of a proposed
centennial project.

The reasons I believe the tim:
to deal with this issue is now are:
a) confusion over the ownership
of foreshore lands and the poten-
tial for costly legal actions by the

district taxpayers

b) concerns over potential erosion
of land including parkland

c} the need to deal with pollution,
including the need for a sewer line
fo protect public health and the
recreation potential of the Deep
Cove area

d} to spell out, to define and also
to protect municipal interests as
well as those of the adjoining
property owners

e)to use the opportunity to
redefine Vancouver Port Corpora-
tion and raunicipal jurisdictions
and administration over all
foreshore lands

f}to establish long-term com-
munity goals and a new Com-
munity Plan in line with the
liveable region, recreation and low
density residential role for the
district

g) to protect ecologically sensitive
and historically valuable areas
against potential encroachment or
misuse

h) to ascertain what areas, if any,
should be used for public recre-
ation, including a seawalk, which
areas should be set aside fer

commercial or industrial use and
which should be left in their natu-
ral state

i) the possible costs for needed
land swaps or land acquisition and
a long-term timetable to carry out
such a program

It is with this in mind and also
keeping in mind that this is an
issue of great implications for the
community as a whole that | made
an appropriate motion on district
council.

The motion called for setting up
a community task force comprt:
of a cross-section of citizens’
groups, including representation
from the adjoining properties, to
bring in appropriate proposals
within a year.

And, although the motion was
narrowly defeated, for the sake of
good governmert, this item must
be returned to council and dealt
with in a principled manner. This
is regardless of whether such a
task force will recommend the ac-
tual construction of a seawalk,
where and under what conditions.
Emnie Crist, Alderman
District of North Vascouver

MANY CITIES are in the pra-
cess of acquiring water.
front for tthe benefit of the
public. The West Vancouver
seawali is testimony to the
popularity of publicly acces-
sibio seashore.

The North Shore News recently
asked 279 people from North
Vancouver if they weuld like to
see a seawalk extending from
Cates Park to Deep Cove.

Over 50%, or 57.7%, responded ff
yes,” while 16.9% said tney
would not like a seawall. 10% had
no opinion and 15.4% did not
know. ,

The vote was split in Deep Cove
where 54.8% of respondents said
"yes" and 45.1% said “no.”

Fireman’s Ball society
column ‘bitchy’ effort

unkind, belittling s!ams!

It’s no wonder that later in
the column, she complains that
she was not invited to another
party. If she doesn’t take a
more positive and constructive
approach to reporting events
and people in her future col-
umns, I predict she will not be
invited to anything.

Barbara Simpson
North Vancouver

Dear Editor:

Is it hard to find good sacie-
ty columnists these days?

Louise Aird’s latest columa
was a critical, derogatory, bit-
chy effort that is not worthy of
being printed in the North
Shore News.

The section on the Fireman’s
Ball was particularly reprehen-
sible. I think those who at-
tended to support a charitable
function deserve more than her

N. Shore News Mailbox policy

LETTERS TO the editor must in- ali letters. Published letters may
clude your name, written legibly, be edited for brevity, clarity, ac-

your full address and telephone
number.

Due to space constraints the
North Skore News cannot publish

curacy, legality and taste. Letters
can be faxed to 985-3227 but still
must be signed and fully address-