MY FORMER girlfriend with whom I lived for 10 months, and from whom recently I separated, has just informed me that she is pregnant with my child. She says I am going to have to pay maintenance for her and the child. f know she wants me back but I do not want to live with her. Where do I stand as to my responsibilities to maintain her? 1 have no quarrel with maintaining the child just as I do my children of my former marriage. You have no legal responsibility to maintain your former compa- nion as you did not live together for a long enough period of time to create that responsibility. Be- fore you pay anything, seek legal advice in an attempt to enter into an agreement or a consent court order for the financial responsibil- ity for your new child and the ac- cess, if any, that you want to the child, I am a father of three children ages three, six and eight years. My wife, who is an elementary school teacher, has told me that she will gever psy maintenance to me for the children even though she knows I need financial help to give the children a reasonable standard of living. We have been separated for eight months and I have had sole custody with her consent for that time. I am barely making the mortgage payments and all my other expenses. I have no extra money to pay lawyers even though I make $50,000 per year as a salesman. What can I do? Go to the family court in North Vancouver and have them sum- mon her to court to give you custody of the children and to set the amount of maintenance she must pay for the children. Once the order is made, register it with the Court Order enforcement pro- gram and let them do the collect- ing for you. The expense of this ” process is very minimal. Remember, you still must finalize your property division and possession. That cannot be done in Family Court and should be done reasonably soon. My husband and I recently sep- arated and I got an order for custody. Although the court gave my husband specific times for ac- cess, he is consistently late in br- inging our eight and 10-year-old children home. Sometimes it’s on- Family Affairs HUGH STARK KIRSTIE MACLISE ly 15 minutes, but other times he’s ap to an hour late. Should I go back before the court and have them make him obey the court - order? 1 wouldn’t. It’s very unlikely you will find a judge that will cite your husband for contempt under the circumstances. Even if a judge would do that what possible posi- tive result would be gained? If he were jailed, wouldn’t that only hurt your children? If he were fined, wouldn't that only result in less money for the family? I'd be patient. Try to find out what the problem is and maybe seek counselling help to resolve this problem amicably. I fave been married to my presen? husband for six years. We just don’t seem to be able to get along. [ve tried everything in- cluding counseliing in order to work out our differences, but nothing seems to satisfy him. T get along extremely well with his two children ages 11 and 12. In facet, because I orly work part-time and my husband travels a fot on business, I am_ the primary caregiver. Their mother died eight years ago and was my best friend. He now says he is going to kick ¢ FALL LINE & OUTERWEAR * CORD PANTS Reg. 24.99 me out of the house forcefully if ¥ don't feave and that no judge would ever let me stay in the home because the children are not mine and he owned the house with his first wife. I don’t want the marriage to end. I don’t feel that he is acting normally. He has in- credible business pressures at the present time. What can I do? You appear to have dune as much as you can from a reconcil- iation standpoint. You certainly cannot force him to attend counselling, and in many ways that fact is unfortunate. He can- not remove you from the home forcefully, nor does the fact that he owned the home before mar- riage help him very much should the matter proceed to court for resolution of the dispute. The court, if it proceeds that far, will decide who is the best person to remain in control of the children, and if it appears that both of you can’t live safely under the same roof, or that the welfare of the children dictates that one of you leave the home prior to the final determination of the matter before the court,an order for ex- clusive occupancy of the home will be made. From the information that you have supplied it would seem that, on an interim basis, your husband may well have problems suc- ceeding on an application to in- terim exclusive occupancy and in- terim custody, so hold your ground and don’t be intimidated. I have been married for 18 years. Other thre the first three years of marriage when I . was employed full-time I have sot worked. Other than our four beautiful children, the eldest of whom is 14 years of age, I have aothing to show for my work as a housewife other than the home which is in our joint names. My husband has shares in his father’s company, but says I can’t be involved because of the share- holder’s agreement he signed with his father and mother and two brothers. i don’t want to interfere with their business, but I don‘t like the feeling that ao part of it is mine. My husband isn’t selfish and I know he appreciates how I feel. This isn’t a matter of wanting 2 up "BOY. 5” Now... ¢ HOODED T-SHIRTS Q% Now ....... Reg. 19.99 ENTER OUR DRAW FORA $500 SPRING WARDROBE!! * Sidewalk Sale This Week « at our W. Broadway Location ° 2951 W. Broadway + Lougheed Mall ¢ Oakridge Centre « Eaton Centre ¢ Guildford Twon Centre « Lansdowne Park Mall - Lonsdale Quay « Seven Oakes - Abbots. Sunday, February 9, 1992 - North Shore News - 19 Ex-girliriend seeks maintenance payments divorce or to separate, and | don’t believe it has anything to do with my wanting power. I feel I have a good partner and simply want to feel that one-half of our partner- ship accomplishments is mine. Is there anything that can be done? While the shareholder’s agree- ment with the family company may not allow for non-family members, you could enter into a marriage agreement with your husband whereby you would have an interest in his shares but that he would vote those shares as long as you remain together. If a specific number of his shares were alloted to you then, if you should die, they would form part of your estate. All other assets should be dealt with ai the same time. Before you and your husband enter intc an agreement, however, you both should seek independent legal ad- vice and the advice of an income tax accountant to ensure that the agreement that you enter into is corporately and income tax wise. eee The questions and answers given in this column are for gen- eral information only. If you have matrimonial prob- Jems you should seek legal advice so that your advisor can assess your particular circumstances and give you the best advice. Questions about family law and estates can be directed to Stark & MacLise, c/o Family Affairs, North Shore News, 1139 Lonsdale Ave., North Vancouver V7M 2H4, PRESTIGE FINE FURNISHINGS & ANTIQUES Presents OAK OAK! 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