44 — Wednesday, April 17, 1991 ~ North Shore News LIFESTYLES Soldier worries about witfe’s frustration Q. i AM in the military, stationed in a remote desert loca- tion. Being away from my wife is sometimes sexually frustrating for me. Dr. Ruth Westheimer ASK DR. RUTH I masturbate, often to fantasies of her, to release my frustration. She knows I do this and she thinks it is OK for me to do so, but she doesn’t think a woman should masturbate. [ can tell from her letters and the occasional phone conversation we get to have that she too is sex- ually frustrated. } worry about her. How can I convince her it's OK to masturbate for a woman too? I know this is a natural and healthy act for both sexes. A. You are absolutely right. Masturbation is a natural and healthy act for both sexes. But there is no way you can convince your wife to masturbate if she doesn’t feel comfortable doing so. Don't waste your time in letters or over the phone in trying. In- stead, tell her how much you love and miss her. Write her some very erotic let- ters about what you are going to do when you finally see her again. Tell her to hold those letters close and think of you. She will handle her sexual frustrations in her own way, maybe by exercising or even furiously scrubbing the house! Think how glad she will be to see you when you come home. Q. The man I am secing had a hair transplant performed recent- ly. Unfortunately, some of the transplanted sections became in- Free lecture for asthmatics ASTEIMATICS AND their fami- lies can learn new ways to manage and treat asthma at a free sym- posium to be held April 23. Called Keep on Top of Your Asthma, the event features two specialists whe will describe new treatments and how to manage the disease. Dr. Moira Yeung is a University of B.C. professor of medicine and head of the occupa- tional and jung disease research unit at Vancouver General Hospi- fected and fell out. His head real- by does look terrible right now. 1 tove him anyway. But he doesn’t want to have sex because his head is uply! Or, at least that’s the excuse he is giving me for not being interested in sex. Can men really lose interest in sex if they don’t look good? I thought that was a problem only women had. Could he be seeing someone else behind my back? I've trusted him and don't want to stop now, but I don't know how to handle this situation. What should I do? A. Believe him when he says he fects too ‘ugly’? to have sex! Men, as well as women, can lose their sexual desire when they feel physically unattractive. Obviously his appearance concerns him or he wouldn't have had the transplants performed in the first place. 1 can’t imagine such a man would be making love to another woman with his head in that con- dition! Be understanding. Tell him you love and desire him, but don’t push for sex. Why don’t you buy him a soft beret and suggest he wear it to bed? Maybe keeping his head covered will solve the problem for him. If it doesn’t, be patient. Q. 1 could kick myself! Ive done it again — turned off another woman when I'd really like to make love to her. I am 21 and shy, but my shyness comes across as arro- gance. When 1 am with a woman I really want badly, I say the dumbest things. J want to impress her with my wit and I end up say- ing things that sound like sarcastic pul-downs. Tonight | had a date with a beautiful woman and | managed to alienate her by the end of the evening. The only time { am myself with women is when they are my friends, not potential lovers. What can I do to refax myself? I am afraid Tam going to be 30 before ¥ have sex. My best friend says I should only have sex with women I'm not attracted to, but that doesn't sound like a great idea to me. A. Not to me, cither! Sex is too tal (VGH). Dr. Mark Fitzgerald is a respiratory physician and VGH researcher, Asthma is a potentially fatal disease which affects up to 50,000 British Columbians. Hosted by the B.C. Lung Association, the symposium will be held 7 p.m. in the Christmas Seal Auditorium, 806 West tOth Ave., Vancouver. For more in- formation, call the lung associa- tion at 731-4961, Co. will expand into chair design From page 43 your friends all look at them and encourage you to do something,”’ laughs Simpson, who has worked as a commercial artist specializing in botanical paintings. Last weekend the pair returned from Toronto’s annual one-of-a- kind craft show with 25 umbrellas sold and an order for 20 more. “It's amazing. We sold out in just two days,’’ says a still shocked-sounding Davis, who noted that two Toronto retail stores have agreed io carry their product. Today the two still do the painting end of the business vut of Davis’ studio. A modest, jam- packed room houses dozens of colorful canvases with fruit and garden motifs and a Santa Fe design-look. The’ve done so well with their umbrellas — fast year their garden series received the B.C. Creative Arts Show’s award for Best Gailery Design — that they've decided to branch out into hand- painted canvas derector's chairs. special and important to share with someone you don’t even find attractive, The next time you are with a woman you desire, don’t try so hard to be witty. Before you say something, think about it. Con- SALE ENDS APRIL 27u! PRICE PROTECTION POLICY Uh sou fired the sume preadoc ata lowes pnee aburiy ine thin das pened shes thee alate of sour purchase, we voll combate sou the diflerrace Starts 9 Thursday 4 9:30 a.m. sider biting your lip to keep your silence. Instead of trying to impress her. draw her out with questions about herself. 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