30 - Sunday, September 16, 1990 -

North Shore News

LIFESTYLES

Achoo! Sneeze stuns customer

DEAR MISS MANNERS
— I went to the post office
to get stamps and other
miscellaneous items. The
polite young lady who serv-
ed me made no effort to
avert her head when she
suddenly let forth an enor-
mous sneeze, all over my
purchase and her hands.

Rather than make an unkind
comment, I timidly let the matter
go and grudgingly collected my
change and items, but 1 wonder
what you would have done under
the circumstances — if anything.
After all, she could have turned
her head away when she felt the
sneeze coming on, and not shared
any germs.

GENTLE READER — Miss
Manners would have confined
herself to uttering a mild ‘Bless
you,’’ perhaps accompanied by
the polite request, ‘‘f wonder if
you might give me some dry
stamps instead."'

DEAR MISS MANNERS — Is
it proper to change from 32
bridesmaid’s dress into a more
becoming dress after the wedding

ceremony?
GENTLE READER — How
long after the ceremony? A

bridesmaid is on duty through the
reception, but when the wedding
trip begins, she may go home and
put on whatever she wants.

Miss Manners is sorry to hear
of anyone’s being forced into a
dress she dislikes. She keeps tell-
ing brides to consult their brides-
maids on the highly personal sub-
ject of what they are to wear, and
pointing out that uniformity, as
opposed to harmony, is not an
absolute requirement.

But if that battle is lost, chang-
ing for the reception merely in-
forms everyone present that the
bride has rotten taste. True or

Judith
Martin

MISS MANNERS

not, it is not one of the brides-
maid’s duties to point that out.

DEAR MISS MANNERS — I
met a very interesting and attrac-
tive person at a singles group a
few weeks ago. As we had many
interests in common, we went out
for brunch, and a week later we
had dinner.

The next time we met was at the
same singles group. She offered to
take me out to lunch next time. I
agreed, and a date was set for 2
few days later.

During the course of that even-
ing at the singles group, many
men asked her to dance. This was
fine by me, as I am not a jealous
person and certainly had no rights
or claims.

Then she danced with one man,
and danced and danced, and out
came the ballpoint pen, and phone
numbers were taken. They danced
some more and left together, pass-
ing within 10 feet of me without
her saying good night or mention-
ing that she would see me as
previously arranged.

The next day was one of the
most miserable that I have spent

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in years. 1 teuly felt that she had
made some decision about this
other person and that it wouldn't
be appropriate for me to keep our
rendezvous.

1 did not keep the date. Feeling
miserable, 1 visited my daughter
instead (J am divorced). When J
arrived home, there were a
number of messages asking me
where I was.

I phoned back and attempted to
explain the situation as I saw it. (
was accused of having the most
atrocious bad manners and was
hung up on without being able to
offer my complete explanation.
What do you think?

GENTLE READER — You did
show bad manners in standing her
up, and she showed atrocious bad
manners in the way she berated
you. But that is not really what
you want to know — you want to
know how tc repair this once
promising prospect.

Grovel. Send flowers with a
charming letter, pleading — well,

temporary insanity: ‘1 somehow
convinced myself that you meant
to snub me, but of course | was
totally wrong. Will you ever
forgive me?’ You might gracious-
ly omit pointing out that she
could have handled her side bet-
ter.

And then repeat to yourself 10
times what you told Miss Manners
about not being a jealous person

Specializing in:
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g Classical, Latin,
Braziian, Soft

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Caribbean and other
ethnic music.

and realizing that you had no
rights or claims on this lady at
such an early stage.

Having no reason to assume
that all her romantic ambitions
had been realized, she was certain-
ly free to return to the singles
group, and once there, to conform
with its purpose.

For that matter, what were you
doing back there?

Telephone:
(604) 936-4300
(604) 939-CLEO

Telefax:
(604) 936-8923

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