isney’s The Three Musketeers * % (Disney) Rated Mature (at the Esplanade, Capitol, Richmond Centre, Station Square, Eagle Ridge, Guildford and Willowbrook cinemas) H,.THE Disney touch ... why remake a classic when you can reduce it? Huckleberry Finn became Huck Finn and now we have “I Was A Teenage Musketeer.” Now that’s not to say the oit-told story is a total misfire. The costumes, Iécations and swashbuckling are more than up to snuff. And I'm sure Alexandre Dumas would recognize his story, al- though it’s whittled down to the ‘simplest elements of a young French peasant D’Artagnan (Chris O'Donnell) heading for Paris to join the king’s musketeers. But by the time he arrives, the nasty Cardinal Richelieu (Tim Curry) has dismantled the king’s personal bodyguard unit. Ah, c’est la vie, mon mouseketecr. Still, D’Artagnan quickly finds Tim Bell . FILM REVIEW the only three renegades who ref- use to doff their tunics. Aramis (Charlie Sheen), Athos (Kiefer Sutherland) and Porthos ne ic Oliver Platt) are rebels with a cause to save King Louis (Hugh O’Canor) and Queen Anne (Gabrietle Anwar) from the power-raad cardinal and his band of cut-throats. Despite many impressive sword- fights, Chris O'Donnell projects a wholesome blandness, especially compared to his funny compatriot Oliver Platt, who boosts the energy level. Role-weary Sheen and Sutherland sleepwalk their way to the bank while Curry hams itup a > fa Alan Rickman in Robin Hood. He’s having great tun leering at cleavage, dishing out pain and one-liners with a roguish twinkle while flinging his red cloak around like a toreador. The women don’t fare as well as in previous versions. Rebecca De Moinay’s treacher- ous Milady De Winter has grown an awtully soft heart for a black widow. , D‘Artagnan’s beloved Constance Photo Frank Connor ALEXANDRE DUMAS' story is whittled down to the simplest elements in Disney's version of The Three Musketeers. af ae : First full ength TV concert performance. Uncut. Unedited. The only North American tour date is in your living room on PPV! SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 27 6:00 PM SIFU 986-3421922 ONLY 19.95 N 10:00am - 4:00pm MacPherson Convention Centre 7325 McPherson Avenue, Bby, B.C. ovember 27th Qulie Delpy) makes little more than a camco and Anwar’s Queen Anne reacts like a homecoming queen when the king finally starts acting butch. The only reason Disney made this good-looking disappointment is to steal from the rich — Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves. Sasi 44 St Bie November 19-25 | CRITICS" ' 1 Cliffhanger (new} . i tock RK. ataa! G wae | PG | Drama 2. Aladdin 3. Free Willy (new) F 4. Sliver ! AVERAGE! RATING | Not only is Hood’s Michael Wincott playing an identical role (Richelieu’s cyclopean henchman, Rochefort), but as the credits roll, Sting, Rod Stewart and Bryan Adams raise their ravaged voices to warble an insipid ballad. This derring-do should have re- mained a derring-don't. 'SEX8 MPAA ‘ NUDITY R Thriller 5. Indecent Proposal 6. Muppet Christmas Carol Dennis the Menace -Cop and a Half | Lost in Yonkers (new) *50% off Software *60% off Books *80 Exhibitors *Free Parking Educational, Business, ¢ Home *Computers *Monitors *Mice & RAM *Drives *CD-ROMS *ShareWare "Info & } Demos