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LETTERS TO THE EDITOR
Letters rnust include your neme, full address

Worth Shore News, founded in 1969 as wn indopendent
sfarbe and quahfied under Schedule 111,
Pargragh LI of te Excie Tax Act, is published cach
‘Wednemiy, Friday and Sunday by North Shore Free Press Lack.
‘and distributod t) every door on the Nurth Shore. Canad Post
(Caiachan Puldicatuns Mail Sales Prost Agrocmat No.
GOR7238. Maiing nes avaibbts on reyurst.
ig gg

a ;
61,582 (average circulabon, Wednesday, Friday & Sunctay)

Entire contents
© 1996 North Shore
Free Press Ltd.
. Allrights reserved.

HE federal government has
cooked up another whopper of a
fish tale for the West Coast.
Unfortunately, the story, like most
from the country’s far cast, won’t have
a happy ending.
And for the fish it will have the
unhappiest ending of all: extermination.
In its wisdom, the Department of
Fisheries and Oceans has decreed that
the commercial catch for herring, a fish-
ery of already questionable merit con-
sidering the state of West Coast salmon
stocks, will -be increased next year by
almost 37%.

ITS TED HUGHES... HE'S
TRYING To SCHEDULE HIS

STASIS RANE BORE NSE CET TAT ea

& m
Fish fiction
The allowable B.C. harvest of herring

will go from the 1996 level of 19,000
tonnes up to 26,000 tonnes.

Herring, of course, is a prime food
source for salmon.

Fans of previous fish tales will already
know that salmon stocks up and down
the West Coast of British Columbia arc
on the ropes. Especially in the Strait of
Georgia, where — you guessed it — the
biggest single catch of herring is expect-
ed to be made: 14,000 tonnes.

Overfishing, habitat destruction
from irresponsible logging operations
and mismanagement of a once-abun-
dant resource have all combined to push

CHRISTMAS VACATION AND WANTS

To KNOW IF YOURE PLANNING

ON GIVING HIM ANY MORE
WORK THIS MONTH.

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Pr Ze)

aAN®

WV's opening night performance panned

RANDOM harvest ...

Item: Oh, it doesn’t have a thing to do with
Greater Tiddlycove, the North Shore, or even
Canada.

But a few withered leaves blew down the dusty
back-alley of my
memory the other
day.

Tulip leaves.

>» yes. The
death of one of the
emblematic figures
of the late wacky
1960s.

Tiny Tim.

This bizarre
character, whose baggy jacket and drooping pants
made Mr. Bean look like a Saville Row fashion
plate, fell like a thunderbolt on Western civiliza-
tion with his falsetto rendering —- as in tearing
apart — of Tiptoe Through the Tulips.

Great, ludicrous fun.

The high-pitched squeal and fawning manner
certainly gained attention. Early in’ his career
Herbert Buckingham Kaury — his real name,
clearly unsuitable — often sang in homosexual
clubs. So the obits said.

Although *7iptoe? was his one and only big
hit, my own favorite was his wonderful Then I'd
Be Satisfied With Life..

Ever hear it? Be glad to play it over the phone
to you.

I spun it multi times last Sunday as a sort of
salute to Tiny Tim, who died Dec. 2 right after
singing “Tiptoe? ona Minneapolis stage.

Oh, yes — there is a Canadian connection.
Strangely, Tiny Tim was a zealous Toronto Mapie
Leaf fn.

When I heard him sing 25-odd years ago at

Hamilton’s Golden Rail bar, he gushed about
how glad he was being so close to Toronto and his
beloved Leafs.

Bet even the News’ own Jane Phan of the
Maple Leafs, Ann Hamilton, didn’t know that.

tem: Speaking of show biz, I caught part of
the opening night — other than inaugural night,
which is just smiles and ceremony — of West
Vancouver's new council.

Awful. New mayor Patricia Boname had a hor-
rendous cold. Should have been home in bed.

Councillors and s builder who was trying to
blow up rock in his development got bogged
down instead in a swamp of motions, new
motions, abandoned motions, and procedural
knots and confusion.

Mark Sager would have smoothly dealt with it
in 10 minutes.

It was so painful that my wife and I, who had
dropped in to see democracy at work, left it like a
bad performance of The Drunkard.

Item: Your heart’s in the right place, Ernie
Crist, but when you try to squelch violence in
movies made on. the North Shore you quickly get
to the nut of the matter: Bucks. Business. People’s
livelihoods.

Ttem: You'll notice that North Vancouver,
always a bastion of freedom and a bulwark against
despotism, is the home of Roger Kishi, the securi-
ty guard at St. Paul’s Hospital who used freedom-
of-information legislation to winkle out the truth
about the $500,000 golden handshake given to
former hospital president Ron Mulchey.

Nice piece of work, Mr. Kishi. And shame on
the hospital for quietly doing the deal, misleading
the public, and then refusing to discuss the mat-
ter.

Item: I'm a little late in acknowledging that
yet another wordcarver has moved to Greater
Tiddlycove: Jim Taylor, who wrote his wry, edgy

salmon populations to the brink of col-
lapse.

Removing salmon’s main food source
will inflict another blow on stock recov-
eries —- especially in Georgia Strait,
where the chinook fishery has dropped
to 20% of what it was in 1980.

But the boys in Ottawa know best.

They are the same ones who brought
us the tale of a million missing sockeye
from the Fraser River’s 1994 run and
other fisheries mysteries.

Though they may make for some
interesting reading, we can no longer
afford to abide by Ottawa’s Tales from

Legions’ caring
is appreciated

Dear Editor:

Thank you for your coverage of
members of Branch 60 of the
Royal Canadian Legion donating a

generous cheque to the Caring:

Ministry, of which I am a director.
Because of these legions’ caring:

and kindness, several needy fami- ~~

lies will have a much better -

Christmas this year.

Your reporter, however, mis-
takenly referred to me as the
“Reverend Jan Andrews”.

T want to make it ciear that I
am not an ordained minister, but
practice my faith as a lay minister.
Normally, I am addressed as “Ian”
or, more formally, “Mr. Andrews.”

Thank you again for your inter-
est and coverage of people helping
people.

Tan Andrews
West Vancouver

sports columns for the Sun, Province, Sports Only,
and now graces the back of the Financtal Post.
James moved to Caulfeild Plateau where he has
a 14 x 30-foot office, a large TV, and excellent
neighbors like actor Jackson Davies. A total con-
vert to the West Vancouver Riviera. Hog Heaven,

Jim.

The North Shore's friendly folds are home to
many Vancouver media people, newspaperfolk
and even a few real writers, including Noel
Wright, Doug Collins, cartoonist Roy Peterson,
Nicole Parton (a new career budding?), Ian
Benson, Rafe Mair, Denny Boyd, Max Wyman,
Bill Good, Peter Wilson, Ric Littlemere, Trevor
Carolan, and doubtless many that I will remember
with mortification five minutes after the News’
mighty presses roll.

Item: Know what's wrong with this paper? It’s
modest to a fault.

The News’ Christmas party is an elegant,
dressy affair packed with beautiful women, dash-
ing men (many in formai attire), and luscious
viands and victuals provided by John-Carlo
Felicella’s La Toque Blanche, an outstanding West
Van restaurant.

Invite me back, please.

Item: True story. A well-known Lions Bay per-
sonage recently was arguing with her Significant
Other. She, tired of the longish Upper Levels
drive, wanted to move to the city. He, firmly, dug
in his heels and said he intended to stay.

As he put it: “It's my way and the highway.”

Item: Hey! Just hit me! Last column before
Christmas! Be merry!

— The North Shore News belicves strongly in
Freedom of speech and the right of all sides in a
debase to be heard. The columnists published in the
News present differing points of view, but those views
are not necessarily those of the newspaper itsel,

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