A4 - Wednesday, May 16, 1984 - North Shore News strictly personal by Bob Hunter S I SIT DOWN to write, I find it a wee bit difficult to concentrate on the world debt, now approaching $1 trillion, or the latest Gallup Poll, about to pup, you see. And that’s pretty absurd, too. Here | am at 42, with the last payment on the mortgate just a few years away, en- cumbering myself with yet another offspring instead of picking out the sailboat in which to sail off to Polynesia. The really strange part is that this particular spawn was MY idea! Babies make noise. Messy, much? They cost money. They damage the rhododen- drons. Worst of all, they’re hable to turn out bad, lke their father. I already have three kids. The oldest is a handsome young man of 20, who knows a lot more big words than | do and is obviously some kind of highly evolved post- computer era superbeing. He doesn’t drink, doesn't smoke. A saint, I tell you! Makes me nervous. A daughter, 17 going on 30, beautiful of course, approaching absurdity. My mate is whom |! worship. Editor of the school newspaper. Editor yet! | stall break out in a cold another kid or wouldn’t eat their peas or even, horrors, treated Daddy with somewhat less than the total respect’ the All-Father has come to think of as his due. My first two kids arrived in the midst of a totally bygone age called the Sixties. | mean, people were reading AS. “TI had two unutterably spoiled power- crazed brats on my hands.’’ sweat at the mention of itors. To have one in the family — lawd, lawd! And a five-year-old. What can I say? | stand in awe. Smart, good-looking, generous, fabulous sense of humor. Radiates love. Wise beyond his years. Doesn’{ kick dogs Of course it confession to admit that there have been, ah, moments with all of them is nO great when windows got broken or sucked on a rag or bonked somebody turpentine-soaked skipped school or [HE © ANADIAN Marine Rescue Aunthary (© MRC) as primarily a Search and Rescue organization pro viding volunteer resources bo assist the © anadban © oast Cruaed with Che saving of lives al Sd Ino an etfort to help reduce the need for sceatcoh and members Srrvall rescue Auatliary also Comducl Courtesy Vessel bo xatimations Free checks for boaters These courtesy examina tions are designed to help the boat owner prepare fis vessel for emergenucs and when completed, ensure the owner that tis boat cotmphes wath the Small Vessel Repulations Iuterested boaters stould contact the Canadian Maritic Rescue ANuaxthary through there lowal © oast Couard Base In Vancouver the phone number ww 7 tO SOLS 25 of 42 get grants NookK LH VAT Cot VER Distant OC cocttre tl tras apogerans oJ Lie aAdboy abreet vet ryyuatate bpoaad pragyes ter SS ef tte coetpetteetl AS applic atuertas fave ANSESC aE © Phebe CO crttardecedait 4 ie a at ce ftv teeta fh GO wth tee Prete atearted ae net a ' he aS re ee . es Oe oe ee Ch ae oo 4 a “yet lets (fC covers td teed pe scsi ad atlooe ate fisted lee al Si re ce a pp bbe abtes Abiteed weeded os Fic ee pen ee Pemberton pub hearing day set Neill’s stuff about merhill and how no such Sum- ‘“‘there are thing as problem children, only problem parents.’’ It was considered incredibly uncool to bash the litthe monsters, no matter what the provocation. Naturally, | had two unut- terably spoiled power-crazed brats on my hands. The boy particularly delighted in shouting obscenities tn the midst of supermarkets because he knew, dipstick that | was, | was trying to follow a philosophy wherein you never, never, never struck a child. The rehabilitation of these two experrmental human be- ings has been a long painful haul, but 1 am happy to say they are cured. They have finally learned the value of politeness, treating people with respect, basic manners. And the importance of fin- ding a job. Needless to say, by the time the third progeny was ready to enter the world, in the fate Seventies, I was geared up to apply the rod the moment the lhittle ego made its first bid for power. Discipline? By the time he was Old enough to stand, | had taught him to throw his right arm into the air, yelling ‘Sieg Dada!’’ whenever | came into the room. | was the envy of all my male friends with kids whose wives were sul into liberal parenting. Having gone the wimp route as a father twice, | knew the value of a tight ship. Ah well. The lad quickly Oulgrew my early programm- ing and now assures me that he’s tougher, smarter and someday very soon he’s going to be even bigger than me. Also, he quickly figured out that in almost every situa- tion, we can work out a compromise. I’m hoping the one now struggling to make a three- point landing on Planet Earth via the beloved orifice is a girl, of course, although if it’s a boy, IH still get all mushy and mystical. The truth is, kids are ad- dicting. Maybe I’ll have one more for the road. 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