WELL, that’s it. Another in- come tax season has come and gone. By now, you'll either be groan- ing about how much tax you paid this year, or waiting with bated breath for Revenue Canada to send a cheque to you. To take your: mind off things, , here are a few gems of humor from the Vancouver office of ‘Rev- enue Canada. Over the course of thé: ‘past ‘in- come taX season; public relations officer Susan Bernanose: has col- lected humorous comments and questions that were. directed: by taxpayers at Reveiitie Canada’s in- formation department. One Revenue Canada informa- tion clerk discovered a new type of vehicle in the course of this con- versation: ‘S've heard that you can transfer equipment from a pro- “prietorship to a corporation,’’ ‘asked a taxpayer. “Is this possi- ble?" “Yes sir,’’ answered the clerk. “That would be a Section 85 rollover.’ “No, no,’’ the taxpayer replied.” “It's not a rollover. It’s a pickup truck.” Other iaxpayers phoned in to “ask if they could claim their pets as dependents, or whether the cost of spaying a dog was an allowable “medical” expense. Unfortunately for pet lovers, the answer to both questions was no. As far as Reve- mistaken identity... ; And in Montreal, even the hookers got hooked by Revenue Canada this tax season. One Mon- . treal prostitute who failed to declare the $792,490 in illicit in- How good ‘is your Advertising? What does your advertising really tell people? You may be surprised by the answer! Leam how to: 49 - Sunday, May 4, 1986 - North Shore News Taxman has sense of humor come that she had been stashing in Swiss bank accounts was sentenced to two months in prison. and was fined $100,000. Revenue Canada said she owed them some $240,000 in taxes,” How to get a “secret” monthly income while minimizing your taxes: Many professional advisors have not latched on to the ' “secret” income that is available through investment funds. § Why itis a “secret” we don't know — it has been proclaimed and used for over 5O years in Canada. It's called a Monthly Withdrawal Pian. Here is what the past has shown. A person who had $IOO,O00 in Templeton Growth Fund on January {fj 11964 and started a 1% per month’ withdrawal of $LOOO (12% per year), would have received $252000.00 in monthly Payments by December 31, 1984. (Motigages were paying ‘| ¢ get the right message to the right customer © use the media that wil! get you the most for your advertising dollars ‘ * includes free guide to help you prepare an effective advertising nue Canada is concerned, only humans count. One creative taxpayer, however, managed to claim a pet as a business asset. For this business owner, it was simply a matter of finding the right method. “I operate a small business and I might have a parrot which. keeps my clients entertained while they wait in my lobby,’’’ said the woman. ‘‘What rate of ‘depreciation can I claim on the parrot?” The clerk. answered that the woman would not be able to claim a capital cost allowance on the parrot, because, while animals moult;..they “do not depreciate. Instead, he suggested ‘that the woman claim her parrot directly.as an expense against in- ‘come — assuming, however, that _‘<° the’ parrot was used strictly for , business. -,One.. can . only hope. that. the . " woman who owns the business has given. the. parrot.a:much deserved vacation this: sumimer! Meanwhile, across “the border, a survey conducted ‘during. this, past income. tax sedson.has’ found that.” ‘one ‘out. of every. four Americans heats on. his ‘or: “her income tax réturn; : “Closer” to home, a White Rock © resident: got slapped-with a bill-of | “more than $55, 500.from Revenue “Canada. A’ note.’ ‘accompanying © the. demand for..money notified im that :“‘his”’ Calgary company owed “payroll source deductions.” on fact, the.man ‘had been out of C et work since 1981 with a Severely in- §:jured back. The Calgary office of m “ye ; copy.’ of, your ins); All you:have to ...| ‘a “form! ‘at the. ” vffice making’: gure. that, you! : f fill in:.the;, information section’: cat. “the top of this blank form. |. :Another:, i taxpayer,” red’, ih ‘forgetting « | og e:-tax. returns: are: stead asked: ‘if? his: “the . Revenue. Canada later apologized a5. ‘no’: ;The' $500: ‘employ- L e 2 deduction i is intended’ for. what turned out to bea case e of : “wae You WAIT’ “2 et + SERVICE ON MANY:JOBS | HIGH QUALITY. 7." ECONOMICAL PRICING "|, NO EXTRA CHARGE FO! COLLATING OR COLOURED STOCK - , 1350 PEMBERTON AVE. ai : NORTH 1 VANCOUVER plan & measure @ sesults , ister r now: - ° Call. Andria at 666-7703 . {9 Federal Business Development Bank ., . #6-221 W. Esplanade, NV... Z: va Business . ». evel ropinent Contes te vy only 7% in 196). However, instead of having just the orginal $100.000 lett’ ‘ ‘the value remaining in. the fund is now $856,896.35. Furthermore, that $252000 “income” would bear about one m quarter or less tax ‘liability than an equivalent income — eamed from interest or annuities. With that $856,896.35 which is left you could withdraw 1%. .; per month ($8568000 monthly or $10281600 annually) to ' keep pace with intlation, How's that for “having your cake : * and eating it too?” For free information on n Withdrawal Plans contact: ‘LIL GLENDINNING GREAT PACIFIC MANAGEMENT r co, LTH.. | 200 - 1180 Homby St ~ ROYALTRUST EBILL. _ PASSBOOK SAVINGS. ~ Choose this route if you “V6Z 2K5.- -AND. FOR SALE TEMPE HEIGHTS | Sealed Tenders ‘ are invited for the purchase of forty-nine (49) @ freehold single family lots. Bids will be accepted by the Corpora- = tion of the City of North Vancouver until 4:00 P.M. May'14, 1986. Upset prices range from $61,000 to $73,000. A 10% deposit in { a form satisfactory to the City must accompany each bid. Two - thirds of the purchase price may be financed by Agreement for Sale. a ‘AT Tender package may be obtained at the Purchasing & Pro- § -perty Services Department of the City of North Vancouver, 141 : West 14th Street, North Vancouver; B.C. A. Derwyn Owen, R.I. (8. Cc.) Land Agent Purchasing & * Property Services ~ believe interest rates will go - up or if you need liquidity. Daily interest— adjusted weekly. in line with the Government of Canada Treasury Bill auction —is paid monthly on the average - balance for that month. Minimum average balance ° of S10, 000 required. — 1760 Marine Drive, West Van 922-3276 _ 1524 Marine Drive, North Van 984-4466 . rates with Royal. Trust’: "unique T-Bill GIC’s...:* Rates are set based on prevailing money market’ yields.The rate you choose at the time of purchase is fixed ° . for the term (from 30- ~day to 364-day). Miniraum amount “ae 000. " *Rates subject to confirmation. Royal Trust T- Bill GIC rate based on 30 to 59 day term.