Y your column. a lot, and.I heard , -YOur: lectures. on: Love at the International Plaza..I gather that “you “think all of us ~should love a whole lot of people - perhaps even love ‘female. - aN ‘ 06 « Wedmesday, Janeary 7, 1981 - North Shore News everyone. It goes without saying that if F love someone, or.a lot of people, I should : -also | denionstrate my love for them. Agreed? . Welt then, here's my “question: Why can't I go to bed with anyone I love? “STEWART: - Pm glad you did not identify yourself as male or That frees the question | from discriminatory overtones. Ja a “Why can't Y 1go’ to bed ‘with anyone I love,” you ask. You are the one who says “I can't” and so wouldn't it be better if you were telling.us rather than asking? How dol! know why you “can’t” do something? The important thing is that YOU for some reason, feel that you can't do it. I think you could tell us . why. Is it because you have been taught it would be “wrong”? Is it because you Good news about drugs QUESTION: = - Do you -think the use of drugs is getting more widespread, or do think things are getting better? We've had so much trouble in our family and amongst our friends because of drugs that I just hate to think of things getting worse and worse. What do you think the situation is? Is there any good news? STEWART: I think the use of drugs is becoming more: widespread. ’ But I also think there is some good: news. Let me em- phasize that I don’t KNOW what I'm talking about. I am not..an expert analyst regarding the use of drugs. However, my feelings, as a result of the sort of thing my clients tell me, is that more and more people of both sexes and all ages, are using QUESTION: To me,‘the world economic situation is real scary. The interest rates go ap, or they go down, and right away you get com- mentaries on TV or Radio or the Press from “experts” who say, “That’s ‘good!” and, from other “experts” who say, “That's bad!”. It is very difficult for me to have confidence in “experts” when other “experts” decide what they have to say. These guys have two or three academic degrees in economics and they are at opposite ends of the pole in thelr interpretation of the situation. What am I to think or do with my tiny bit of understanding? And If the so-called “experts” are speaking in defense of government policies (or opposition policies) and are doing so as members of a particalar party — forget it. I feel right out of ft. What “drags. Now, that’s the part of my. answer that you will undoubtedly label “bad news”. The good news is a bit vague, but here it is. I have a strong feeling that fewer people are using drugs just to be “smart”. I sense ‘that not so many people are getting into drugs because it is an “in” thing to do. More and more there is an ability and a willingness in people to turn their back on drugs without feeling embarrassed - about it or feeling a need to explain their decision or defend it. This good news is less evident amongst teenagers than it is amongst more mature persons, but of course, that is to. be ex- pected because of the overwhelming pressure that teenagers feel from- their peers. It seems fashionable these days to put down the Me Generation, but, believe can an ordinary person do? STEWART: Speaking as a full-time, card-carrying ordinary person, my _ considered answer is “I don't know”. So, what I do is try to get comfortable about having confidence in the “experts” eventually arriving at some workable procedure that will fescue us ordinary people from an unworkable one. They might do it and they might not. My opportunity is to live as constructively as I possibly can in whatever situation I find myself. I have no way of knowing how well I would perform if I were unemployed, or flat broke, or both. Thank God, those circumstances are not mine just now. If they cver are,’ 1 will have to test my inner resources to the ut- most. You too? Hang in there! One day al a time. Those resources are usually Jewellery Appraisal Service (Abevanden Markwart FINE + ‘Park Royal-North Mall Howl oi tttr ido 926-7213 me, the emphasis the Me Generation has put on being “you own best friend” is Still vastly ‘important. Doing something because ‘“everyone does it” is nauseating to so many of the Me Generation. And that is good news! I am saying then, that there are fewer people who are turning to drugs simply because others do. And there are more and more people who are turning away from drugs simply because they have made the choice to respect their own decisions. More people are seeing that it is childish to slip into being a user and to remain ai user. after becoming aware that they don’t want to be users. It’s really not so dumb to be saying in 1981, something that the Me Generation used to sing a few years back. “TLL DOIT MY WAY!”. Have faith in ‘experts’ underrated, but they are adequate. We can bank on them. THIS COULD __ BE THE START OF SOMETHING Skirts & Pants ' Sweaters Pants Vests. Sweaters & Blouses . Special Clearance know there are many other opportunities available to you through which you may make your love demon- strable, (over and above “going to bed”) which would seem more appropriate to you? Is it because you feel _you can’t find people of the sort you are drawn.to who also have feelings such as yours about love and promiscuous sexual manifestation of it? REUPHOLSTERY Many other related subjects may also be strengthening your inhibitions, such as “using” people sexually, birth control, abortion, in- terpersonal responsibilities etc. etc. Or, is it this? Do you suppose you have an almost intuitive sense of the meaning of love that is deeper than you so far have become aware? ‘SALE ‘toward » hig > T think you will have to answer your own question. You are most likely to find a satisfactory answer as you allow your exploration of the depths’ of meaning in” un- conditional ove, talead you ard higher planes ‘of fulfillment. In that searching you will find rewards worthy of being shared by all your loves, worthy of them and worthy of your Self. : ask hayden stewart oo Freelance: Counsello: Hayden Stewart may be ‘reached at 261 6242 ‘for appointments for individual, family or group counselling. His office in the International Plaza. Hotel (Open Tuesdays only) i is for the convenience of North Shore residents. ; Off Most Fabrics NEW NORTH SHORE SERVICE Shop in the Comfort of Your Home All Work Guaranteed PA RAMOUNT INTERIORS Free Estimates 5239 Victoria Drive Vancouver, B.C. 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