18 - North Shore News — Wednesday, March 15, 2000 2000 pieces HOLLYBURN elementary school students recently produced 2,000 pieces of art to celebrate the year 2000. Left ta right with some of it are Shawn Hallgren, Simone O’Sheehan, Reza Tabanfar and Behdad Jamshidi. Your child wiil ‘improve one full grade level within 36 hours of instruction, or we'll provide 12 additional fours at no charge.” West Van. 926-3365 North Van. 985-6811 SYLVAN LEARNING CENTRE’ Success is Inarned™ cons SPRING BREAK Spring - Break Internet Program for children and PARENTING —— ONCE you've walked on the planet long enough, say three or four decades, you begir. to notice that trends come and go, the proverbial swinging pendulum. It doesn’t matter whether you look at clothing, music or Parenting patterns, everything is retro at some point or another. There is a simple reason for this recycling that goes beyond the hype of marketing and obsolescence — we always want what we don’t have. The newest fashion is exciting, not because of what it looks hike, but because we don’r have it. Then, once we have it, and everyone else does as well, we need to find a new fash- jon. For kids, that’s pretty casy. Find something your parents can’t stand. Same holds for music. The parenting pendulum has the sane dri- ving force. We always want our children to be what they aren’t. If we are strongly disciplined with them, we worry about their creativity. If we allow them full creative licence, we tire of their obnoxiousness. While each parent takes only minor swings at a time, parents as a whole often swing in wide swaths through the latest parenting fashion. Right now, designer parenting is in and perfect children is what we want, since that is what they aren't. Designer parenting is a term that has been coined to describe parents who are program- ming their children for ultimate success. Music lessons, sports clinics, straight A’s, computer camps, you name it they wane it. Their chil- dren must be perfect models of what it will take to be successful in the dog-eat-dog world of competitive schools and workplaces. And it’s fair to say, many children benefit from the attention and stimulation such par- enting may give. Many others don’t. I've seen a lot of designer parenting since it became obvious that educational levels would have to rise tu get prime spots in school pro- grams, universities and jobs. As athletes’ salaries have risen, I have seen a lot more chil- dren in sports, a lot more overzealous coaches, and a lot more rabid parents taking it all in. There is a definite push to get kids to che next level, just one step ahead of their peers, in whatever endeavour they pur- suc. For the last five years, [ve read many, many articles giv- ing parents tips on how to get a leg up on the conipetition. Recently, I have been seeing more articles questioning the merits of the fast crack. [t may be just a small pause before we all push even harder or per- haps the pendulum has begun to swing back again. Perhaps the excesses of designer parent- ing, encapsulated in detached and angry chil- dren, burned out young athletes, and overly rushed lives are beginning to become so obvi- ous that we are aj] looking in the mirror and questioning our motives. Are we pushing our children for their bene- fit or ours? Is this al] about giving our children opportunities they wish for, or bragging rights we wish for? Unlike many cultures that have strong tra- ditions which inhibit change, our culture almost always views change as a desirable thing. We have a tendency to throw out the babies with the bathwater on a regular basis, making our pendulum swings greater in size, yet shorter in duration. Fads rumble through our neighbourhoods and school systems on a regular basis, making us immune to the importance of principles to guide us. Just as we fall victim to buying some really ugly clothing at times, just to keep up with those darn Joneses, so too do we fall vic- tim to some unnecessary parenting trends. Designer parenting in the extreme, is com- pletely controlling. Latssez-faire parenting, or abdicated parenting, leaves a child completely unguided. My parenting mantra has always been, “Balance, Balance, Balance.” Work hard, play hard, sing loud, laugh often, love much. Our children need our guidance to find their way, not our way, but they do need our guid- ance just the same. While the pendulum swings about us, we need to focus on the things that work best for our children and our family as a whole, and not worry about the Joneses’ kids. © —— Graham Heokey is the author of Parenting . Is A Team Sport. ghookev@yahoo.com their parents. Learn about tainment court-jester style. Capifano branch on Thursday,’ navigation techniques, home- March 22-24, 10 a.m.-noon. March 23. All programs begin work resources and fun sites. Fee $5. Pre-registration only: at 10:30 a.m. Pre-register: Wednesday, March 22,2 p.m., 987-5618. North Van City Library. Capilano 987-4471; Lynn’ Valiey 990-5811; Parkgate Register: 998-3490. Photo Fun and Darkroom Developments for ages 10- 13. join the West Van Museum and Archives from March 21-23, 1-3 p.m. Learn how zo take and develop pho- tographs. Bring a 35 mm camera. Fee $69.55. Register: 925-7270. “Jest” for Pun for ages 6-9. Drop the kids off at the North Vancouver Museum for enter- North Vancouver District Library is offering programs for children aged 6-11. Harry Potter parties are Wednesday, March 22 at Parkgate and Thursday, March 23 at Lynn Valley. Children are invited to come dressed as their favourite Porter .character. Hunt for Smuggiers’ Gold at Parkgate on Thursday, March 23 and at Lynn Valley library or. Tuesday, March 21, Fans of Beverly Cleary’s Ramona can learn how to make tin-can stilis ar Parkgate on Tuesday, March 21 and paper airplanes ‘at Lynn Valley on Wednesday, March 22. Youngsters in Grades 2-5 can celebrate the Year of the Dragon by mak- ing a dragon mask at the 929-3727. Popsicle Puppets: For ages. 6-9, Tuesday, March 21, 2-3 p.m., at the West Van Memorial Library. Create a “deliciously” clever set: of puppecs from cardboard, markers and popsicle sticks. Register: 925-7408. ; Mad Science presents. _ Mineral Mania: For ages 8- — 12. Thursday, March 23, 2-3; - p.m.,. at the West Van Memorial Library. Pan for gems and learn how sctentists classify and identify rocks and minerals. Register: 925-7408. Soapstone Carving with See more following page Do you have a Chronic Skin Condition? (Rosacea, Pimples, Acne, Dry Skin...) Our Personalized Skin Care Programs have helped many people. 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