NEWS photo Brad Ledwidge

Favourite music... ..
Activities . dca hockey, triathlon
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SHOULDN'T YOU?

¢ All claims have time limits
+ Documents you sign can
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Graham Taylor . Kevin Blair

THE Darwin) Awards are
given: annually (and) posthu-
mously) ro tiose individuals
who did the most for the
human gene pool by removing
themselves from it.

Los Angeles, Calif. Ani
Saduki, 33, and his brother
decided to remove a bees’ nest
from a shed on their property
with the aid of a pineapple. A
pineapple is an illegal firecrack-
er which is the explosive equiv-
alent of one-half stick of dyna-
mite. They ignited the fuse
and retreated to watch from
inside their home, behind a
window some 19 feer away
from the hive/sicd. The con-
cussion of the explosion: shat-
tered the window inwards,
seriously = lacerating = Ani.
Deciding Mr. Saduki needed
stitches, the brothers headed
out to go to a nearby hospital.
-White walking towards their
car, Ani was stung three times
by othe surviving — bees.
Unbeknownst to cither broth:
er, Ani was allergic to bee
venom, and died of suffocation

en-route to the hospital.

Qgqaa
_ Derrick L. Richards, 28,
was charged in April in
Minneapolis with third-degree
murder in the death of his
beloved cotisin, Kenneth E.
Richards. According to police,

Derrick suggested a game of

Russian roulette and put a
semiautomatic pistol (instead
of the more — traditional
revolver) to Ken's head and
fired.

a2o00

Phillipsburg, NJ. An

unidentified 29 year old male
choked to death on a sequined
paste he had orally removed
from an exotic dancer ata local
establishment. “f didn't think
he was going to eat it.” the
dancer identified only as
Ginger said, adding “He was
really drunk.”

DOU

In France, Jacques
LeFevricr left nothing to
chance when he decided to
commit suicide. He stood at
the top ofa tall cliff and tied a
nouse around his neck. He
tied the other end of the rope
toa large rock. He drank some
poison and set tire to his
clothes, He even tied to shoor
himself'at the last moment. He
jumped and fired the pistol.
The buller missed him com-
pletely and ‘cut through the
rope above him. bree of the
threat of hanging, he plunged
into the sea. The sudden
dunking — extinguished — the
Names and made him vomir
the poison. He was dragged
out of the water by a kind tish-
erman and was taken to a hos-
pital, where he
hypothermia,

O20

A Renton, Wash., man
tried to commit a robbery.
This was probably his first
attempt, as suggested by the
fact that he had no previous
record of violent crime, and by
his terminally stupid choices as
listed below: 1. The target was
H&J Leather & Firearms... a
gun shop. 2. The shop was full
of customers, in a state where 4
substantial portion of the adult

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died of

Sunday, August 22, 1999 — North Shore News — 11

holdup and fired a few wild
shots. The officer and a clerk
promptly returned fire, remov-
ing him trom the gene pool.
Several other customers also
drew their arms, bur didn’t
fire. No one else was hurt.

population is licensed to carry
concealed handguns in public
places. 3. Vo enter the shop, he
had to step around a marked
police patrol car parked at the
front door. 4. An officer in
uniform was standing next to
the counter, having coffee Read about the winner of
before reporting to duty. the 1999 Darwin Award in
Upon seeing the officer, the — vext Wednesday's News of the
would-be robber announced a Weird.

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