4 - Friday, July 21, 1986 - North Shore News ane ED IT’S THE Jittle things that get you in the end. Iocan more or less handle the thought of an apocalypse because I've been thinking about it all my life. If you told me that the weatherman was a Libyan agent, I would barely blink. But please don't trap me in a line-up at the post orifice. PLEASE! UVIl confess to anything. Here, take my daugh- ters and turn them into Grits, if you have to, but no, not the post o7ifice line-up! This actually happened to me the other day. It was my own fault, of course. Through a gross lack of planning I had something that needed to be sent off special delivery right away and there was no onearound to do it except me. IN A July 9 News story a North Vancow ‘r man was incorrectly identified as having been fined on possession of stolen property charges. Though he was originally charg- ed with two counts of possession of stolen property in connection with illegal crab fishing, Ray Har- rison had both charges against him dismissed. ve Bob Hunter ® strictly personal ® It was too late in the day to call the courier. fF gulped, hesitating. I cry not to go into post orl- fices, you understand. Something bad always happens. The last time was several mon- ths ago. Somebody had ashed mez, if | happened to be dropping off some mail, to pick up a change of address form for them. Sure, no sweat, So ! asked the clerk for a change of address form. There weren't any. How could this be? The clerk shrugged. They'd ordered them three months ago, but they just hadn't showed up. Maybe if 1 tried the main post or- ifice. The big one in Vancovuer, you mean? The thats bomb. proof? She nodded with the resolute indifference of the true bureaucrat. No change of address forms at the focal post orifice! My heart didn't stop pounding for two days after that. Can you imagine? Yes, you can. But that was hardly anything compared to the other day. It was noun. | should have known better, but f decided to take a chance. The line-up, surprisingly, wasn't very long at all. Only two people ahead of me. Only one clerk, but that fig- ured. Lunch time, after all, The man directly in front of me had a pareel to mail. He decided to pay for it with nickles, dimes and quarters. | did NOT one am he time has come to immerse maem@ed YOurscif in sheer relaxation, removed from the hustle and bustle. You can do it in our lazy lakes just 9.) minutes away at Whistler Resort. Sound inviting? You're invited to swim, fish, canoe, kayak, river raft, or sailboard on our 5 alpine lakes. Of course you may just want to lie under Mother Nature's sunlamp. So do it. Our nature trails wind through beautiful forests so you can hike, jog, cycle, ride a horse, or just take a long, peaceful siroll to your heart's content. Arnold Palmer designed our 18-hole golf course for a challenging game of golf. We've got tennis, and our waterslide is exhilarating fun. We pamper your palate with everything from fast food to haute cuisine. And at night, we've got music, dancing, and fun. Our summer rates are surprisingly low believe this. But it was true. A perverse streak made me linger to see What would happen nest. He laboriousty counted out the nickles and dimes and quarters. lt added up to $13.55. Tosutl refused to believe this was happening. It was like a bad Charhe Chaplin movie. Naturally {heaved an enormous sigh when he got to the end. But wait! The postal clerk -- a swift one, this) -- decided to count every onuckle, dime and quarter over atgain, just to be sute. The line-up behind me now tengthened to about 10 peaple. Lo and behold, the postal clerk came out with a different figure! He was out by ONE: quarter, precisely. Morbidly, 1 hung in, waiting for reality to dissolve and all this to turn out to be a test of some kind. But no, the two of them bent to the task of counting every single nickle, dime and quarter all over again. The guy wouldn't throw another quarter into the pot and the clerk stubbornly ref- used io accept fess than the total as he saw it. I don’t know how it ended. | couldn't stand it. | left, letter dangling between omy limp fingers. Pd call the courier in the morning. Toask you: Amnesty Interna- Hional notwithstanding, what 1S wrong with torture? Here's a cute one: Nearly two months ago, while in’ New Zealand, | bought a saddle for a friend. Well, for his horse actual- ly. Inany event, | addressed it to mysell, to make things easy when it arrived. The notice appeared in the mailbox, [owas to go down to customs and immigration — in the same building as the post ori- fice — and pick up the saddle. Of course, I'd have to pay duty. Fair enough, except that there was a little catch. Im sorry sir, but you'll have to produce a bill of sale or a receipt (o prove that you bought it. The fact that I could prove | was me and that { was willing to pay the duty was NOT enough. Back home to rummage through old receipts. I couldn't find it. In the end, a Visa mon- thly statement proved to be ac- ceptable. I did spring the saddle. But the ulcer. Oh, the ulcer! Break my spirit, if you must, fate, on the big rack, but not the little one. Please! for accommodations that span the gamut from modest all the way to luxurious. A day, . a weekend, or even longer at Whistler Resort is as Close as a panoramic drive on Highway #99, the “Sea to Sky” Highway. Come and be lazier than our lakes 9235-~ 5 , EXPRESS | = T 0 EXP 0 ? 8 6 Average room rate single or double Robert Cumberlidge, charged jointly with Harrison, was fined $125 on both charges and placed on a year's probation. m3 40 PASSENGER VESSEL “APODACA'DIRECT WATER TAXI SERVICE FROM HIORSESHOE BAY & BOWEN ISLAND 10 EXPO'S MARINE PLAZA IN FALSE CREER! Ss UNPARALLED SCENERY © NEW 40 PASSENGER VESSEL “APODACA™ © TRAVEL IN UNDER 40 MINUTES IN SAFETY, COMFORT & STYLE o FIRST EXPO LASDING 10 a.m, * LAST DEPARIORE [i p.m, * RESERVATIONS ACCEPTED © FARES: ADULT $3.00 CHILDREN UNDER 22 $5.00 ¢ OWES ACCOMPANIED NY SDELT Ww, oy Fyyk cORMORANt MARINE aeeeeaene For reservations call 685-3650 toll free.