From Pages 4 overwhelmingly, in fact — ! the qualities that sustain a i marriage prove to be such relatively mundane factors as the willingness of each partner to accept the Strengths and weaknesses of the other without making too much of a fuss about changing him or her ‘‘for the better.”” It also helps enormously, Klagsbrun found, if the people involved are capable of growing and changing while maintaining an ongo- ing interest in each other. She also--found that in- dividuals whose marriage endured were very seldom advocates of constant togetherness. They gave each other breathing space. Nor were they totally dependent on each other. “As attached as partners in long marriages are to one another, 1 had the impres- sion that they could live alone and manage if neces- sary because each remains an individual, whole and intact SUMMER Most makes Lube, olf change & filter Full ignition tune-up ‘Balance all 4 tires Check cooling system f wash & clean-u and hinges. 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They simply do not choose to."’ And _ there was the nub of the matter, 1 thought. Like just about everything else in life, from stopping smoking fo Starting a business, you have got to WANT to do it in order for it to work. Affection, passion, even love, in a sense, turned out to be almost secondary compared to the central fact of life for jong-married cou- ples, which is that they have chosen to be with each other, indeed, until death does them part, and it was this underlying act of will that really made the dif- ference. As for fidelity, I hate to sound like a prude (especial- ly since I am), but I couldn't agree more with Klagsbrun's finding that messing-about is always destructive in terms of trust, and once the bond of trust is broken, everything else begins to dribble away. DRAINAGE PROBLEMS? 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